Starting Your Personal Change Journey

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Step 1 - Recognising the Need for a Change

Congratulations! Clicking on this post was already your first step. Whether you notice a recurring pattern disrupting your relationships or a personal trait hindering your growth, acknowledging the desire for change is crucial. Equally important is the belief that you can change. Switching to a growth mindset sets a foundation for meaningful transformation, empowering you to take proactive steps toward improvement.

Step 2 - Make a Commitment to Change

Once you’ve acknowledged the need for change, it's time to make a firm commitment. This involves setting clear, actionable goals and dedicating yourself to achieving them. Engage with a coach, therapist, mentor, or close companion about your goal. Ensure this person can offer support, encouragement, and constructive feedback to help you stay on track and navigate obstacles. Their perspective can help you uncover development areas and keep you motivated. Publically declaring your goal will make you more likely to keep yourself accountable.

Step 3 - Apologies to Everyone Who Has Been Negatively Affected by Your Past Behaviour

Acknowledging past mistakes and making amends is an essential part of the change process. Apologizing to those affected by your previous behavior shows humility and a genuine desire to improve. This step also encourages you to take more public accountability to hold you to your goal. When apologizing...

• Listen Without Prejudice: Approach these conversations with an open mind, curiosity, and a willingness to listen. Avoid interrupting or arguing. Instead, focus on understanding the impact of your actions and identifying ways to improve.
• Clarify for Understanding: Ensure you fully grasp the concerns and feelings of those you’ve affected. Ask questions to clarify any points of confusion.
• Thank Them: Express gratitude for their honesty and for giving you the opportunity to make amends. Acknowledge their feelings and the courage it took to share them with you.
• Test the Waters: Ask for feedback on potential changes you could make. For instance, "If I were to do X differently, would that help?" This shows your commitment to making adjustments based on their input. This collaborative approach not only enhances your understanding and strengthens your commitment but also helps heal your relationships with those who are invested in your progress. For more tips for these conversations, go here.

Step 4 - Follow-Up Regularly

Consistency is key for lasting change. Regular check-ins with your coach, mentor, or accountability partner help maintain momentum and track progress. Monthly meetings provide an opportunity to review your goals, discuss challenges, and celebrate achievements. This ongoing support reinforces your commitment and keeps you focused on your goals.

Following up with those who were affected is also important. Regular follow-ups show that you are serious about change and value their opinions. Depending on the nature of the relationship, these could be monthly or quarterly follow-ups. These conversations allow you to gauge your progress, receive feedback, and show that you are still committed to improving. They also remind others that you are actively working on yourself, fostering trust and understanding.

Step 5 - Be Patient

Behavioral change requires time and patience. It may take 12-18 months for true change to take root and for others to see a shift in your behaviour. Be patient with yourself and recognize that setbacks are a natural part of the journey. Persistence and resilience will ultimately lead to lasting transformation.

Embarking on the path to personal change is a challenging yet rewarding endeavour. By recognizing the need for change, making a commitment, seeking accountability, making amends, and being patient, you can achieve meaningful and lasting transformation. Remember, the journey is as important as the destination, and every step you take brings you closer to becoming the best version of yourself.