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Key points
- Rest can seem like a bad word. We need to reframe how we think about rest to practice resting and not increase fatigue.
- Take time to consider how you approach tasks. If you jump to complete tasks right away, practice letting things sit.
- Pacing tasks allows us to balance activity levels and practice proactively resting before fatigue worsens.
Life requires energy, and feeling tired throughout the day is unpleasant and can decrease your quality of life. Being chronically fatigued is even more challenging. How are you supposed to be engaged with daily life when it feels like you have 30-pound weights strapped to all your limbs, your head is filled with fuzz, and your body’s gas tank is empty?
We live in a go-go-go world, and life doesn’t stop when we are fatigued. It is also difficult for us to stop ourselves. Rest seems like a dirty word. Not accomplishing 20 tasks a day feels like we are doing something wrong. We are being lazy. Or, like me, maybe you have a hard time letting something sit and not jumping to complete a task as soon as possible.
To live well with chronic fatigue, we have to practice reframing rest and approaching the tasks of daily life differently. We are not robots. We all have finite energy, and we must take time to refill our gas tanks to engage in meaningful activities effectively. By effectively engaging, I mean setting ourselves up not just to do an activity, which can be hard enough but enjoy it.
Notice What You Are Telling Yourself About Rest
What comes to mind when you think about resting? Do you tell yourself, “I can’t rest; I have too much to do!” Or “Rest is for lazy people.” Or, “I’ll rest when I’m dead!” Our thoughts influence our behavior, so thinking you can’t rest or rest is bad will hinder your ability to rest.
Many of our thoughts are automatic, and we tend to believe them whether true or not. And, even if our thoughts are (somewhat) accurate, that does not mean they are helpful. So, practice slowing down and noticing what you tell yourself about rest, and then ask yourself, “Is this thought completely accurate and/or helpful?”
If the answer is no, ask yourself, “What is a more helpful thought?” For example,
- I am busy, and rest is important. I can make time for it.
- Resting will help me be more productive in the long run.
- Rest will allow me to enjoy life more.
Repeat the more helpful thought to yourself each time you notice yourself having unhelpful thoughts about rest.
Notice Your Behavioral Tendencies
Thinking about and writing down how you typically move through the day and approach tasks can be useful. Just like our thoughts, many of our behaviors are habitual and unhelpful. Once you are aware of your behavioral tendencies, you can consider what you may want to do differently to refuel your tank regularly. Here are some questions to consider:
- Are you someone who tries to complete tasks as soon as possible or pushes them off?
- Is it difficult for you to rest/take a break when tasks are uncompleted?
- Do you typically move through tasks quickly or take a fair amount of time?
- What emotions arise for you when confronted with a to-do list?
My tendency to jump to complete tasks as soon as possible serves the function of easing anxiety and saving me energy in the long run, or so I tell myself. If I complete a task now, I don’t have to think about it, which lessens anxiety and seemingly frees up energy down the road. Unfortunately, this is not true. By rushing to complete tasks as soon as they pop up, I am constantly depleting my tank and worsening my fatigue.
I have had to learn to do the opposite of my behavioral inclination and let tasks sit. This is very difficult for me. And letting things sit, and remembering that not all tasks are urgent, allows me to manage my fatigue and have more pleasure day-to-day.
Pace Tasks
Pacing is a behavioral approach that is often used when managing chronic pain. It allows for consistently engaging in a moderate activity rather than over-pushing and over-resting. It is also helpful for fatigue since many of us are prone to pushing through tiredness to complete a task and not stop until it is complete. This is a recipe for ongoing exhaustion.
When pacing, time is the guide for activity, not the number of items on your to-do list or even your level of fatigue in the moment. Pacing is about balancing activity levels and resting proactively before fatigue worsens.
How to Pace:
- Before you begin an activity, estimate how much time you can engage in the activity without flaring up in fatigue.
- Set that time, minus about five minutes–we tend to overestimate how long we can do something–as your “active” goal time for the activity.
- Now, estimate how much rest time you need to resume the activity with less fatigue or continue your day. This is your “rest” time.
- Each active goal time plus rest time equals one cycle. For example, if the activity you need to complete is a work presentation, you may estimate that you can work on it for 75 minutes without an increase in fatigue, followed by 15 minutes of rest. So, working for 75 minutes and resting for 15 minutes is one cycle of pacing.
Multiple cycles of activity and rest, or just one cycle, may be needed depending on the task and how you feel. You can adjust your estimated active and rest times as you go and gather information based on your direct experience.
You can’t run on fumes forever, and trying to can suck the joy out of life. I encourage you to give yourself permission to slow down, rest, and refuel. Your internal engine will thank you.
