Combating Loneliness

As human beings, we are social animals. We thrive in the company of others and struggle when we feel disconnected and alone. If you are struggling with feelings of loneliness, you are not alone. According to a February 2024 American Psychiatric Association Healthy Minds Opinion Poll, we are in the midst of a loneliness epidemic. Young adults, according to these findings, are particularly at risk, with 30% of respondents between age 18 and 34 reporting that they feel lonely every day. A 2023 advisory by the U.S. Surgeon General expressed concerns about the growing “loneliness, isolation, and lack of connection” in the nation.

Concern about loneliness is widespread, evidenced by the World Health Organization’s efforts to address loneliness on a global scale. The Commission on Social Connection was established in 2024 to raise awareness about the effects of loneliness on mental health and to create awareness and support for creating stronger social connections worldwide.

Loneliness can be both puzzling and painful for many of us. How is it that we can feel happy and content when we are completely alone and on our own, yet feel lonely among friends, family members, or in a crowd? Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it. It's the desire to feel connected to others, mixed in with the negative feelings that arise because of a lack of connection. When we are not lacking in and yearning for genuine connections, and we can enjoy spending time on our own, we can do so because we are not in a state of suffering—but when we don’t feel like we have authentic connections, we can feel alone in a crowd, disconnected, isolated, and lonely.

Loneliness is a big deal. The physical and mental health impacts, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, include increased risk of heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression and anxiety, addiction, suicidality and self-harm, dementia, and earlier death.

Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy has shared his own struggles with loneliness and his efforts to create and rebuild connections. He surmises that "by building more connected lives and more connected communities, we can strengthen the foundation of our individual and collective well-being and we can be better poised to respond to the threats we are facing today.”

Start with you

If you are struggling with feelings of disconnection and isolation, reach out to friends and family members with whom you have enjoyed spending time in the past. Look for ways to make new connections in your community and with like-minded people who share your interests and passions, and explore approaches like mindfulness practices that can help you connect with yourself and ease feelings of loneliness and isolation. Combatting loneliness starts with you—and you’re worth it.

7 strategies to help combat loneliness and create connection

1. Acknowledge your feelings. Often, rather than acknowledging our feelings, we distract, deny, or busy ourselves. But as with any change, combating loneliness starts with awareness.
2. Realize that you are not alone. The reality is that you are not the only one feeling this way. Understanding that loneliness is something we are all vulnerable to can help you validate, reframe, and re-contextualize feelings of isolation and loneliness and minimize self-blame and shame.
3. Be kind to yourself. Rather than feel shame or blame yourself, it is important to treat yourself with compassion and take steps to create and rebuild meaningful connections in your life.
4. Make a list of the people in your life you could reconnect with. Reach out to friends and family members you have not talked to or seen in a while. Chances are that at least some of the people with whom you have enjoyed spending time in the past will be interested in reconnecting with you. Make plans to meet in person and catch up. A walk, a cup of coffee, or a quick lunch is a great start to reconnect.
5. Look for a way to connect with others. Join a club, take a class, or volunteer a few hours of your time to help people vulnerable in your community. Finding ways to spend time with others who share your interests is a great way to make new connections.
6. Find new ways to connect with yourself. Consider exploring and integrating mindfulness practices into your daily life. Mindfulness practices can help you reconnect with your authentic self.
7. Talk to a mental health professional. If you are living with depression, or anxiety, and struggling to connect with others, it is important to go outside yourself and seek help. Talking to a mental health professional is a great way to start to rebuild and create valuable and life-enhancing authentic connections in your life.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.