7 Things You Should Know About Highly Sensitive People

Stop being so sensitive.

Yeesh, you’re so easily overwhelmed by everything.

According to Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo, authors of the book Sensitive (Harmony Books, 2023), the truth is: yes, highly sensitive people (HSPs) are indeed sensitive. Very sensitive. And, yes, they are easily overwhelmed by the environment around them. However, what the authors emphasize is that, no, they don’t have to stop feeling this way. Nor should they be shamed for being this way.

In fact, during an interview with Sólo, he explains that being an HSP—someone who has stronger reactions than others and processes what’s happening in the environment much more deeply—is precisely what society needs.

“The world has had enough of toughness,” Sólo says. He should know. He and co-author Granneman are creators of the world’s largest community for sensitive people, Highly Sensitive Refuge, where HSPs can find solace in the stories from and about sensitive people of all walks of life. Sólo adds that it’s high time society embraces their high degree of empathy and sensitivity rather than view it as something to change.

7 Things You Should Know About Highly Sensitive People

1. Their sensitivity is a calming necessity.

Ours is a world that tends to prize or listen more to those who are the loudest, more overt, or quickest to respond, Sólo explains. HSPs—individuals who are brimming with empathy and who are more deeply in tune with the environment around them, right down to subtle nuances and micro-expressions—bring a soothing balm to the "too loud" table.

2. HSPs offer invaluable insight.

Sólo explains that HSPs often add immense value to the conversation, project, or task at hand. They may not be the loudest, speak up first, talk over others, or even say anything at all during a meeting or a family conversation. But, rest assured, Sólo says, they are taking in the information, processing it, and about to create or convey something wonderful. This could be a unique parenting point of view, a work strategy that wasn’t previously considered, or a physical work of art—or all of the above.

3. Their unique gifts are in high demand.

The world is in infinite demand for what they offer, Sólo says of HSPs. They are the deep thinkers, the passionate, ultra-kind, sensing, and creative types. This isn't to say that non-HSPs aren't passionate or creative. It's just that the HSP has “a mind that is processing more, which translates to contributing even more, whether it’s in the tech field or creating a beautiful sculpture.”

4. HSPs are not weirdos!

Nearly one in three people are highly sensitive, Sólo says. “They are not alone or a weirdo! Their amazing personality is tied to giftedness and is one of the best things about them. The world needs to normalize and embrace this.”

5. They don’t need to grow a thicker skin.

One big myth is that HSPs need to toughen up. It's a common expression that was conveyed in childhood and still is even into adulthood. Sólo feels strongly about bidding that notion adieu. He explains that HSPs don’t need to get over anything or grow a thicker skin. Rather, the world needs to enjoy the benefits they offer, especially in a world where big, loud, and drama-infused behaviors tend to be merited.

6. Boundary-setting is essential.

Sólo’s advice to HSPs: “Know your limits and set boundaries. Such a strong sense of empathy makes you want to help everyone, which can be draining, even more if what you give is infrequently, or never, reciprocated.” He says that it’s perfectly fine to tell someone, “I had a stressful week and can’t talk tonight, but here's what I can suggest now.” Then consider offering a raincheck, or recommending a therapist, book, or another helpful resource. “It’s essential to take the time to focus on you," he says, "to recharge so you can become that wonderfully amazing limitless well.”

7. Their personality needs to be normalized.

There shouldn’t be any shame associated with being a deeply feeling and sensing person with boundless empathy. If, for example, someone says that you’re raising your child to be sensitive, Sólo suggests responding by proudly acknowledging that he or she is indeed a sensitive child. Then add, “it’s something we are trying to encourage.”

Highly sensitive people have a lot to offer the world; their ability to feel and process more deeply and thoroughly than others should be viewed as a welcome breath of fresh air in an often fast and frenzied society.