Why Therapy Is an Important Refuge for Free Speech

In my university teaching I have recently noticed an uptick in student reluctance to speak freely in class. Many students mention how they feel that the current online climate fills them with dread about saying anything that might render them vulnerable to being “cancelled.” As a result, they either abstain from communicating online or in their classes at school, or carefully plan and edit what they say for fear of being too exposed.

While this no doubt affects how people conduct themselves in institutional settings or in interpersonal relationships, I wonder what the psychological effects of such a perception might be. While we all must certainly edit what we say in public settings to a degree, is it important to have a space or place to express our true thoughts or feelings, however uncomfortable or even ugly they might be? Is it important to have a truly “safe space” to share and explore difficult, controversial, and even down right antisocial thoughts and feelings?

Therapy as a place to come out of hiding

In a recent book by psychoanalyst Dr. Dhwani Shah, he argues that what makes the therapeutic space so powerful and important is precisely that it can be a place to safely interrogate the uncomfortable truths that we hold about ourselves. Not only is this good for our own psychological development or general mental health, but he argues that it may even be good for society at large as a most effective place to dismantle cultural problems like racism or sexism.

He gives a powerful example of a patient he had who over time felt comfortable enough with him to reveal some prejudiced views she had against South Asians on a bus she was on (Dr. Shah himself is South Asian). Rather than challenging the patient for holding those views, he became curious with her and explored the nature and origins of the feelings. The patient eventually revealed that she felt that the group of people enjoying themselves on the bus had “stolen her enjoyment,” and it reminded her of the loss of connection with her town and culture of origin.

Were these views to be expressed on social media or in a classroom, we can imagine a vastly different response, a response that in psychological terms might arouse the defense system and shore up those views rather than challenge them. The therapeutic space, on the other hand, allowed the patient to safely express strong feelings that she had (anger, resentment) that were a source of a great amount of mental distress.

By allowing the patient’s prejudiced views to surface without judgment, the clinician was able to alleviate some of the negative psychic pressure of those feelings — "naming it and taming it." This no doubt had huge impacts on the patient, who experienced the freedom of sharing a long-simmering resentment (which is like a poisonous inner pill), as well as the powerful interpersonal impact of being validated instead of judged by a respected other.

Perhaps more strikingly, this validating approach allowed the patient to revisit her social views as an expression of personal grief and loss, and thus subtly untangle some of her prejudiced opinions. While it would be an overstatement to suggest that this individual case study might solve larger social ills, it highlights, I believe, the critical role that therapy can play as a truly safe and open space to share what might be difficult, unsettling, or even dangerous in other contexts. As Dr. Shah mentions in an interview about the book, therapy offers a place where we might slowly gain enough trust and courage to “come out of hiding” as our honest, complex, and contradictory selves.

Indeed, we cannot overstate the impact of sharing something that evokes great feelings of shame or embarrassment in a professional context and risking judgment or reprisal by a medical professional. To do this alone takes great courage and bravery and as a stand-alone act is quite powerful. However, to be validated and "seen" by a professional, in spite of what may be embarrassing or offensive views, can also have profound effects in terms of self-esteem and self-worth and can likely lead to better interpersonal relationships. After all, we want to engender relations where we can be and share our whole self: warts and all.