Why It's Important to Engage with Your Depression

I've worked with a lot of clients who had depression. But long before I went to graduate school, I had to deal with my own depression. Up close and personal.

It was in my early twenties, shortly after graduating from college, that a close acquaintance committed suicide. My own path forward was uncertain, and I struggled with the demons of a traumatic family history that included alcoholism, rage, and verbal and physical abuse.

Depression can lead you to purpose and meaning.

Source: Anthony Tran / Unsplash

Depression was kept at bay, I suppose, by focusing on achievements, school, and grades. And by heavily self-medicating with marijuana.

But when the crutches of college and academic accomplishments were gone, my acquaintance's untimely suicide set in motion my own rapid decline.

The depressive symptoms were crushing. I lost focus. Constant thoughts of death left me fearful, frozen, and unable to make even simple decisions. A dark heaviness descended on me, making it almost impossible to move my body or think. All I wanted to do was sleep and have the depression disappear.

Fortunately, my mother, who was a loving influence in my life, found me the right help. That help, as it turned out, was not a clinical psychologist or mental health counselor, but a seasoned psychiatrist who was patient and kind. And yes, he prescribed medications that gave me some temporary relief.

More importantly, he became a wise mentor who guided me to find my way. We did this without focusing on my trauma or using therapy tools that focus on thinking styles. We simply talked about life, about love, about pain.

Though I didn't realize it at the time, this was an initiation. Each session felt akin to entering a sacred sweat lodge (minus the smoke) where the soul was set free, where it discovered its connection to all and its deeper purpose. For the first time, without the fetters of angry abuse, my spirit began to grow and flourish. The depression symptoms slowly receded into the background.

Around the same time, I started to have vivid visionary experiences, some out of body and some hallucinatory in nature. These were not frightening; instead, they assured me that the daily reality in which I had been living was not the whole story. There was more. Much more.

Looking back, I clearly see how my depression was actually an initiation into the mystery and meaning of life. If my doctor had simply removed the symptoms, I might have felt better in the short term, but would have missed the bigger picture. And maybe the depression would have returned.

Talking with Your Depression

Earlier this year, I invited James Hollis, an internationally known Jungian expert and author, to join me for an interview on Pathways Radio and Podcasts to speak about depression as an initiation. Hollis spoke about the importance of engaging with one's depression. By doing this, you actually change your relationship to it. Depression can shift from "something that is making me miserable and getting in the way of my life" to a means of looking more deeply, to asking questions such as "Why now?" and "What does this ask of me?"

According to Hollis, this kind of deeper engagement is not easy. We may be skeptical and fearful of what we may learn. Also, the process of reflection is one that demands time and effort. If you have meditated, you know that simply observing one's thoughts requires a sense of openness and detachment that takes time to cultivate.

Questions for Engaging and Shifting Depression

The main point that Hollis makes is that a depression could be an opportunity to see why you are in conflict with your deeper desires. Depression may be like that flashing warning sign on the highway telling you to pay greater attention to your life direction and needs. This is also a way of recognizing that suffering is, to some extent, a part of everyone's path.

To that end, you can delve more deeply by asking:

• Is depression sending the message that I need to examine what is missing or out of balance in my life?
• What in my life am I avoiding that I am being asked to look at more closely?
• Am I neglecting the work of bringing my passion into the world?
• Have I denied my life's true meaning and purpose from being nurtured and fulfilled?

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As you inquire, you may find that depression is not an enemy, but a guide from within your depths who is calling out for your help.

Now, I'm not saying that cognitive behavioral therapy, as well as other modes of therapy and the latest medications, don't have a place. They can and do help. By all means, work on the symptoms and use traditional means of dealing with depression. Just don't neglect the bigger picture of what depression may be telling you.

Depression may be whispering in your psyche, urging you to embrace a journey that leads you into the heart of the life's meaning and mystery.