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Key points
- Hospitals are typically uncomfortable places for both the patient and the caregiver.
- Some small items of comfort that can create greater ease during times of high stress.
- There are a few things to carry or keep in mind that may help you and your loved one.
Hospitals are not comfortable places. The lights are bright and unflattering, the air is dry, the chairs are rigid, the decor is monotonous, the food is mediocre, the coffee is abysmal, and the stress is sky-high. Is there anything to be done about it?
Yes, with a little effort, you can create a more comfortable stay for you and your loved one. If I were making a wellness bag for myself or for anyone else who spends time in the hospital with a loved one, there are a few things I’d include:
Coffee and tea
Coffee or tea are usually available for visitors, but it may taste terrible. Grab some higher-quality instant coffee packets and favorite types of tea, if that’s your jam. If you’ll be there a while, take a proper mug to add a little comfort. It’s not a bad idea to have a traveler box of coffee made at a coffee shop so you can share with those who come into the room because they’re often facing the same bad-coffee conundrum. My heart smiled watching my dad hospitably offer a nurse a cup of coffee and cookie from his bedside rolling table.
Food
The cafeterias in hospitals are perfectly adequate, but you may want more control over the nutrients you consume, especially during a stressful time when your cortisol levels are already determining how much to eat and how long to store fat. Have some fruit or cut vegetables available for noshing. Food delivery services may offer more diversity of options.
Clothes
Hospitals tend to be cool and sterile and, depending on the room you’re in, it may be downright cold or the temperatures may vacillate wildly. Dress in layers, much like you would while camping. Even if it’s summer, your feet may be cold in sandals, so keep a pair of closed shoes and socks available. Tennis shoes will help you run back and forth between the nurses’ station, visitors’ lounge, or cafeteria. They will also make it easier to walk straight out the front door to take a walk in the sun at some point each day.
Books
It’s hard to focus in hospitals and other health care settings. People are coming and going from the room, you perpetually feel on edge because you don’t know when the doctor will arrive, and you’re worried about making your parent comfortable in the limited ways available to you. Your loved one has nodded off, which gives you a clear opportunity to do a little something for yourself, like read a book. Unless you have uncanny focus, which you may have in spades, you’ll want reading materials that are accessible and engaging. You may want laugh-out-loud funny in this moment. You may want practical reading that will help you navigate the situation. Whatever your preference, have it at the ready.
A sense of humor
OK, so it’s not easy to pack a sense of humor for yourself or someone else, unless it’s a joke book or stand-up comedy show, but you are wise to pack one anyway. This is easier when the disease hasn’t progressed as far and death doesn’t appear as imminent. You can play with riddles to distract, laugh with the nurses and assistants, and recall amusing anecdotes from the past. Your parent will appreciate it, and it may become suddenly easier to get the attention of health care providers because they also appreciate some levity in their days. I also packed a small Bose speaker to play music that makes the room more pleasant for everyone.
Something fresh
There’s not much that looks or feels alive in these settings. I brought Dad flowers once, which he politely thanked me for while I giggled because I knew from my upbringing that he found them to be a waste of money. I brought plants once and he said he didn’t want to stay that long. Freshly sliced pieces of watermelon were a hit, though.
Things to share
Finding the best pastries or pizza can serve you and your person, but it can also serve those around you. The nurses and other staff will appreciate a well-timed bite to eat in the middle of a 12-hour shift, especially if it’s easier to grab and share without the need for cutlery or cutting into pieces. A simple question at the nurses’ station—“Do we prefer savory or sweet?”—should get you the information you need to make a decision.
Blankets
The blankets provided to patients are a special type of blanket: and by that I mean low-key terrible. If they’ve been heated, they’re moderately more comfortable, but they are otherwise unfriendly in texture and far from cozy. You may want to get your parent a blanket from home or buy a comforter from a nearby store. I always chose blue for my dad because it drew out the blue in his eyes instead of how the white blanket looked against his pale and fragile body. For Mom, I got a plush Minnie Mouse blanket that invited friendly comments.
Personal items
As you probably already know, caregiving is unpredictable. It can be a good idea to carry basic personal items: a toothbrush and toothpaste, your favorite moisturizer, lip balm, and maybe some mascara if it makes you feel more put together. Doesn't hurt to have a change of clothes, too.
Each person has their own ideas about what comfort looks like, but we can each benefit from a little advance thought on what it looks like during times of crisis, however basic, especially as hospitalizations can be recurring until answers are found and maybe even after that. There is no shame in trying to feel a little better, no matter the circumstances.
