10 Strategies to Calm Down and Support Ukraine

Our brains are wired to look for danger. Our prehistoric ancestors who survived were the ones who were the very best at spotting it. The first ones to spot the saber-toothed tiger and run were the most likely to survive. Those ancestors passed their genes on to us.

When we spot danger, our primitive sympathetic nervous system turns on and guides us to fight, flight, or freeze. Today, we are watching extremely distressing images as millions of Ukrainians and their neighbors are having to decide among these options as their very survival is being threatened.

But what do we do? Paradoxically, we must try to activate the opposite side of our nervous system, because “fight, flight, or freeze” won’t help us help them. We must activate the calm side of our nervous system to counterbalance the stress we are all under. This side is called the parasympathetic nervous system and is nicknamed the “tend and befriend” or the “rest and digest” response. It is only when we are calm that we can activate our frontal lobe and begin to solve the complex problems our world is facing.

So if you want to help, be calm and reflect on the ways you can be part of the solution.

As they say on the airplane, put the oxygen mask on yourself first. This is a crisis that will be unfolding over weeks, months, or even years, and we need to be resilient and strong to cope.

The base of the wellness pyramid is sleep, so make sure you are getting enough sleep and make sure it is high-quality sleep. Clear thinking is much easier to accomplish with a well-rested brain.

Next is nutrition. Avoid junk food and try to maintain stable blood sugar. Stress wreaks havoc on our bodies, and we must do everything to counteract it. Globally, we have all been under extreme stress for two years, and no end is in sight. This is clearly a marathon, not a sprint.

Reduce or eliminate mind-altering substances. A new study revealed that as little as one alcoholic drink a day can shrink your brain. Humanity needs all the brainpower it can muster to navigate through this crisis, the pandemic, climate change, and myriad other problems we are facing.

You can activate your parasympathetic nervous system in many ways. In fact, anything that makes you feel calmer is working, so just tune in to your body and see what works. A warm shower or bath, time in nature, hugging (a pet or a human), taking deep breaths, meditating, painting, gardening, walking, cooking, eating, listening to calming music, and talking with a friend or therapist are some of the many ways to turn up our parasympathetic nervous system.

How to help

Once you feel better, read through the list below and decide how you want to contribute. Being part of the solution feels good and can help keep your parasympathetic nervous system engaged as you “tend and befriend” those in need.

1. Donate. The list of organizations providing aid is long. Do your research using Charity Navigator and GuideStar and select one or several non-profits to support. Consider making a recurring donation. Book a room in Ukraine on Airbnb and don’t use it. This is a novel way to get funds directly to Ukrainian families and apparently over $17 million has already been raised.
2. Stay informed. Get your news from reliable sources and make sure to vary them. The situation is quite disturbing, and you must find the right balance to be aware of current events but not overwhelm your nervous system. Support local Ukrainian journalism by sending money and reading and listening to their reports. Learn about the region and its history. In the words of Winston Churchill, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.”
3. Write to your congressperson. Express your thoughts in a clear and coherent way. We are so fortunate to live in a democracy where our voices do matter. Support democracy not just abroad, but at home. We are all learning that democracy is more fragile than we thought, so do your part and take nothing for granted.
4. Attend peaceful protests. People around the world and even inside Russia are taking to the streets to show their support for people in Ukraine and democracy in general. Wear a yellow armband or dress in blue and gold to show solidarity with the Ukrainian people.
5. Decrease your consumption of fossil fuels. Consider driving an electric car or a hybrid. Walk or stay home to minimize driving. Take public transportation when it is safe. Remember we are still in a pandemic, so make choices carefully. Decrease air travel when possible. Buy locally produced food. Install solar panels at home. Use LED lights, and turn off all lights if you are gone more than 15 minutes. Turn off your computer, TV, and other appliances when they are not in use. More than ever, we need to reduce, reuse, and recycle.
6. Volunteer. Find a local organization and volunteer your services in person. Helping others helps you, too. It’s called “Giver’s Gain” and “Helper’s High.” Try it, and you will see.
7. Share your skills via the internet. Doctors and nurses are providing care to those on the frontline via telehealth and lawyers and all types of professionals are doing the same. What skills do you have that may help those suffering?
8. Support Ukrainian people in your neighborhood. Countries such as Poland, Hungary, Moldova, Romania, and Slovakia are also under extreme pressure. Reach out to friends from these regions and ask how you can help them here and abroad.
9. Be kind to Russians in the U.S. They are not at fault and should not be blamed for atrocities in their home country. We witnessed Asian hate crime increase in the U.S. during the pandemic, and we must avoid this type of paranoia. Activating the calm part of our nervous system helps us decrease the paranoia that comes from our sympathetic nervous system. If you find yourself getting too upset, double down on the calming behaviors listed here.
10. Don’t give in to compassion fatigue. We have all been through a lot, and it can be easy to numb out at times. But there are many in need right now, so try to dig deep and continue to help others. Support one another. Talk to friends and family and brainstorm together about how to help one another both here and abroad.

Remember we are all part of humankind and in the words of Martin Luther King, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

I hope these suggestions will help you as we continue to navigate through these very challenging times.

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. –Mahatma Gandhi