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Key points
- Workplace gossip is the norm, so it must have benefits or meet needs.
- Unfortunately gossip entails several risks and potential negative effects.
- The good news is that there are ways to address gossip that are healthier and more productive for everyone involved.
When a work setting consists of at least three people, it seems that gossip will occur at some point. But what do we mean by “gossip”? Likely everyone has their own take on what constitutes gossip (and assumes that everyone else is thinking the same way). One definition that seems useful, even if a little strict, is “talking about in a way that could be taken as negative or disparaging, and that person is not present (or at least unaware of the comments).” Hmm. That definition casts a light that likely reveals more experiences of gossip than we might have initially estimated.
But What's the Big Deal?
As defined here, what is wrong with gossip? One problem is that the person being talked about is not present to defend or explain themselves and likely will never know that they were portrayed negatively to others. It’s highly unlikely that the gossipy “facts” being shared are the entire story, and, yet, to at least some extent, the comments are likely to affect how the listeners view the person being gossiped about. This is especially true when listeners do not have much, if any, personal experience with the person in question.
Another potential problem with gossip is that the venting of frustration or other negative emotions experienced by the gossiper(s) may decrease the motivation to address the relevant issues with the target of the gossip, thereby not solving the problem. This is especially true when listeners agree with the gossiper’s assessment or reported experiences. Such agreement implies that the others have not addressed the issues as well (so why should I?), and perhaps to do so would be futile, since other people experience the problem person similarly.
Then there is the risk that gossiping may tarnish the reputation of the gossiper. On the surface, gossip seems to serve the function of directing attention away from the gossiper and their behavior or work performance. However, there is the phenomenon known in psychology as the self-serving bias: the tendency we all have to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt and to view ourselves generally more positively than an objective assessment would warrant. So, if we gossip about some behavior or trait that we ourselves exhibit yet do not recognize, or underestimate in ourselves, listeners may see hypocrisy.
Another well-documented phenomenon in psychology is the false consensus effect whereby we tend to assume, or overestimate, that others view things the same way we do. So, our gossipy commentary may seem to us like simply relaying self-evident truth, but if listeners do not see it the same way, they may come to view us negatively (and, of course, not explicitly reveal it).
So Why Is Gossip Still So Common?
Because gossip is so prevalent, there must be benefits or needs that it meets. Proponents of workplace gossip point out that it serves as a way for people to communicate what is unacceptable or discouraged at work. Of course, addressing problems and frustrations directly, candidly, and with solution-focused approaches would serve this function in healthier ways.
Another potential benefit is that gossip provides a means for individuals to bond and build trust through sharing of these semi-secret judgments. Of course, even here, such possible benefits may not materialize if listeners start to wonder what the gossiper is saying about them when they are not present.
How Can We Kick the Gossip Habit?
Given the overall negative balance of gossip’s possible effects, what can you do? First, become more aware of your own instances of talking about others who are not present. What are your motives? Would you say these same things, in exactly the same way, if that person could hear it? Is it likely that listeners would form a negative impression of the person or people you are commenting on? Why might you not be addressing any problems or concerns directly with the relevant people? If the shoe were on the other foot, would you want that person to come to you directly or talk about you with others?
What about when you find yourself on the listening end of gossip? The easiest response is to just listen and not really respond, but due to the false consensus effect, that response is likely to be interpreted as agreement. If that is not your perspective, sharing your differing experience or opinion may be necessary if it is important to you not to be misunderstood or viewed as complicit in the gossip.
Another alternative is to have a rehearsed response for such situations, perhaps something like, “I’m sorry. I’m working on not talking about other people when they aren’t present,” or “I hear what you’re saying, and I’m working on not focusing on the negative about other people/coworkers.” Such responses may cause us a little trepidation if we envision a negative response. However, testing that assumption may leave you pleasantly surprised, and, over time, people learn not to bend your ear when they’re motivated to gossip. That may be a benefit worth the initial effort.
