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Key points
- From time to time, the metaphor in dreams can point one directly to the situation at hand.
- Examination of the people who appear in a dream can point one to behaviors one may need to employ.
- A specific person's appearance in a dream can help one capture what a "missed opportunity" looks like.
- One's dreams give one the opportunity to rehearse a decision before setting things in motion.
Stuart dreamed of entering a beautiful apartment that he liked very much but had to leave because it wasn’t his. Upon closer examination, he realized that although he had literally arrived at a place in his life where he didn’t want to be, his dream pointed toward the first steps he could take to improve his situation.
The Dream
I had a dream two nights ago in which I put my key into the lock of what I thought was my apartment, but I discovered upon entering that it was not my place. It was beautifully decorated, very clean, and very neat. I liked it. The man who lived there walked in and wanted to know why I was there. I told him how I used my key, believing it was my place. He seemed to understand and wasn’t angry.
I apologized and left immediately. No harm done. It took me a while to find my apartment, and I lost my key on the way, but a woman found it in the hall and returned it to me.
The Discussion
I started by asking, “How did you feel in this dream?”
Stuart replied, “I felt surprised and confused when I first entered the apartment because I had used my own key and was expecting to be home. The apartment was so neat and well-appointed that I actually felt right at home and thought I could live there, but, of course, it wasn’t my place.”
I responded, “Can you think of a recent situation in which you felt surprised because you ended up somewhere you didn’t plan to be?”
Stuart ventured, “Well, for what it’s worth, I am quite unhappy with where I currently live. It’s clean and in a good building, but it’s dark and sunless. My apartment is a very small basement unit.
“Truthfully, I would like to move, but I can’t afford it on my government pension. Sadly, I did nothing in my past working life to prepare for financial security as a senior. I profoundly regret this fact.”
Continuing, I inquired, “Do you know the woman who found your key? If you do, please tell me a few things about her.”
Stuart said, “Actually, yes! She was a classmate and friend from grade six in 1964. Her name is Michelle. She was born in Tunisia. She was quiet yet still outgoing, friendly, and quick-witted.
“Had my family not moved away from downtown Montreal, we probably would have developed a deeper relationship.
“My family moved to three different Montreal suburbs over the following years. Looking back, I wish I had tried to maintain my friendship with Michelle, but we were too young, I guess, to think of that.”
I proposed, “If this were my dream, Michelle might represent a missed opportunity.”
“Indeed!” exclaimed Stuart. “This is the crux of my dream! My current situation with my apartment and the missed opportunities in my work history and in my life. The association to Michelle—again, all about missed opportunities.”
I wondered, “Can this dream help you consider what to do in this specific situation about your apartment?”
Stuart considered my question. “Perhaps it has something to do with moving because most of my associations with Michelle involve moving. My moving. Her moving. Even though my first impulse is to insist that, without more money, I can do nothing, there’s no denying I need to move. The darkness in this apartment makes it hard for me to feel good.”
I offered, “Michelle could also represent the quick-witted, outgoing, friendly, and smart aspect of you! Look for that experience you already have with moving around and remind yourself that you’re quick-witted, too. You can find a place that’s clean but not a basement with no light.”
“I love how you see different parts of the dream as different aspects of me,” responded Stuart. “While the idea of searching for another place at this price seems overwhelming, I guess I’ll be thinking about the guy whose apartment I found myself in. He was very cool-headed and said there was no harm done.”
I added, “It’s not just that man, but you, too! It’s apparent in your description of your dream; you take it all in stride.
“My favorite part of your dream is Michelle. She’s the one who finds and gives you the key, your potential to give yourself a break, as well as tap into your own smart self. It’s the key. Literally.”
Stuart said, “I agree. Looking and investigating are all free of charge, no harm done. Whatever I pay for rent here is positively not the only apartment in an entire city with that rent. Impossible.
“On another note, but maybe not, I found Michelle on Facebook, and I sent her a message! I hope that she responds.”
What We Can Learn
So often in life, we come to a place where we are convinced there’s no way out. The attitudes and behaviors we may need to exercise can come to us from the people who appear in our dreams and our associations with them.
In Stuart’s case, he has arrived at a place in his life “where he didn’t plan to be,” literally. But in his dream, both the apartment owner and he himself displayed the attitude he needed in waking life: cool-headed and unperturbed, “no harm done.”
Stuart was, in essence, trying calm on for size. The dream brought this potential behavior to the surface so he could take it into waking life.
