In Defense of Pessimism

“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.” —G.B. Stern

As a psychotherapist who believes in the power of positive psychology, I’m acutely aware that our thoughts shape our lives. I am familiar with the research that points out that optimists often heal faster and are healthier and happier in the long run. However, as a proponent of all things in balance, I’m also an advocate for pessimism having its place.

There is a benefit in acknowledging the fact our brains are wired with a negativity bias that keeps new and potentially harmful experiences from being our last. We would not have lasted very long as a species if our optimistic ancestors had used affirmations in the face of a charging saber-tooth tiger rather than thinking the worst and allowing the natural reflex of fight-or-flight to kick in.

The positive side of a negative outlook is that it can spur one to take action, provide the impetus for needed change, and help one develop the resources for meeting a challenge. Additionally, exposing one’s inner pessimist to the light of day can be its own healing ritual in the same way that turning on a light removes the frightening dark shadows from a room.

The psychological maneuver of using a negative outlook for personal growth is known as defensive pessimism (DP). This constructive use of negativity has been shown to reduce anxiety by developing plans for dealing with the worst-case scenario rather than trying to will oneself into a positive frame of mind. Let’s face it: Telling an anxious mind to not worry is as useful as trying not to get wet in a rainstorm by thinking sunny thoughts; better to just open the umbrella.

This psychological mind trick is not without its drawbacks. Applied too often, life can become a series of setbacks with the only prize being able to take discomfort in the fact that one’s prediction of the worst-case scenario came true. Personal relationships may also suffer, as the optimists in one’s life grow weary of the glass always being half-empty and will, at times, take to sarcastically singing “Don’t worry, be happy” as payback.

Many people have used this technique in their daily lives without giving it a name. COVID-19 gave us all a chance to practice DP, as we either took precautions to decrease our chances of becoming infected or threw caution to the wind with what might be called offensive optimism—in that it was offensive to many people that anti-vaxxers were placing others at risk.

The politics of pandemics aside, the societal struggle between optimists and pessimists has a long and storied history. On a personal level, this balancing act is often what constitutes the bulk of psychotherapeutic interventions. In my counseling career, I have witnessed the carefully constructed tightrope act of countless clients who teetered between the dark night of the soul and the light at the end of the tunnel. Reframing the pull towards the dark side as defensive pessimism often eases the inner tension created when trying to hold back negative thoughts—paradoxically allowing for a counter-narrative of healing to take its place.

While easily practiced on one’s own, the gravitational pull of negativity is such that one may want a professional guide to start the process. I have watched many clients, especially those suffering from anxiety, pick up the shield of defensive pessimism and never put it down. They invoke the “believe the worst” mindset but fail to act. The self-fulfilling prophecy guarantees future therapy sessions to deal with life’s latest insult and the onset of a depressive episode.

Another clinical area where DP is valuable is in helping clients adjust to life-altering illnesses. Those experiencing these challenges are often confronted by well-wishers who encourage, preach, or insist that a positive outlook is a necessary ingredient for recovery. Faced with what currently comes under the heading of toxic positivity, these clients struggle with feelings of guilt for not always “staying strong” and are burdened by the assumption that anything less than recovery means they failed to stay on the sunny side of life.

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As the author Julie K. Norem pointed out in the book The Positive Power of Negative Thinking, “Being able to tolerate negative feelings can be crucial to a wide variety of life situations: delaying gratification, learning from bad experiences, truly hearing what other people have to say, and assessing our own circumstances, risks, and opportunities.” Oliver Burkeman simplified this is his book The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking, when he wrote, “the effort to try to feel happy is often precisely the thing that makes us miserable.”

One of the misconceptions about DP is that it is inherently too serious and therefore not life-affirming. While it’s true that pessimism, as one’s only response, can drain vital life energy, the shift toward DP does not have to be a serious endeavor. Humor can be a necessary lifeline when wading into the waters of negativity as one learns to laugh at oneself even while being negative.

During a training on the positive power of pessimism, I informed the group that, because of my cancer journey, I held a Ph.D.—pessimists honorary degree—and attended Pessimist University (PU) and that our motto was “we stink.” I then shared that the seeds for the growth toward DP were planted long ago during a therapy session where my trusted therapist, after absorbing another round of my mid-twenties, angst-ridden rant, laughed.

Still in graduate school at the time for counseling, I shared that I was not familiar with that as a therapeutic technique. She shared her version of the late Robin Williams line, “I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing near you.” It was an “ah-ha/ha-ha” moment for me in therapy and a reminder that, as Oscar Wilde once said, “Life is too important to be taken seriously.”

Even in a culture that loves to swing back and forth between polar opposites, I foresee a day when the pendulum comes to rest. I see a day when the glass-half-empty/half-full debate is replaced by the realization that optimism and pessimism don’t oppose each other, they support each other, and trying to have one without the other is like trying to have a one-sided coin. Or maybe that’s just me being overly optimistic.