Let Your Children Be Bored

Bored Book College

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If you are a parent, you have very likely heard the words that many of us dread, “I’m bored.” Children, of course, can be bored anytime and anywhere. They can be bored in school and they can be bored at home, with hundreds of toys and activities all around them. There is data that chronic boredom can have a negative impact on mood, health, and productivity. So what do we, as parents, do when we hear these words? Following are some suggestions, based on my experience as a clinical psychologist and in light of the available research.

Empathize Without Entertaining

It is not our job as parents to entertain our children. It is our job to support, educate, and nurture them. The difference is subtle and often leads to confusion in my own household and many others.

If we take on the role of constantly entertaining our children, we deprive them of the opportunity to learn this vital life skill on their own. The fear would be that one day, they might struggle with being alone since they have learned the erroneous lesson that only others can address their boredom. Instead, parents can validate that we are all bored from time to time and that it is important to find a creative way to entertain ourselves. As a side note, if a child offers a solution that involves the parent (such as playing a game), I encourage parents to go along with it, if they are available, as the idea originated from the child.

Challenge Children to Be Creative

Just because we want our children to learn the skill of entertaining themselves does not mean we let them flounder without support or guidance. Especially with younger children, we need to model for them what creative problem-solving looks like. Fortunately, there are countless ways to find entertainment and enjoyment in life. By offering healthy suggestions, we can better prepare children for the next time they experience a state of boredom.

There is evidence that the state of being bored may lead to increased bursts of creativity. With this in mind, parents will want to offer “solutions” that involve writing, drawing, and imaginative play. We will also want to do similar creative endeavors in our own free time. If we plop on the couch and turn on the television or stare at our phones every evening, children will determine that screens are the way to occupy downtime.

Role of Technology

At first glance, the rise of smartphones and tablets seems to be the solution to the state of boredom. We have constant entertainment at our fingertips. We can play games, stream content, and watch countless reels on social media. When you are in a doctor’s waiting room or on the bus, just watch how quickly people pull out their phones. Most of us cannot remain without stimulation for even a few seconds. Of course, most of us realize that this is merely a diversion since the art of sitting in silence is a dying one. In fact, one study suggests that many people prefer to be electrically shocked than left alone with their thoughts.

In summary, boredom does not have to be the enemy within ourselves or our children. It is not an insignificant emotion, however, as illustrated by a recent paper out of Africa, which aggregated boredom’s negative impact on mental and physical health. If we help our children learn to tolerate boredom in a healthy way and find creative solutions to alleviate it, we are setting them up to be more resilient in the face of the inevitable downtime they will face throughout their lives.