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Key points
- 7 benefits of incorporating humor in therapy
- Humor can promote a new perspective, defuse anger, and reduce intensity
- Laughter is often a signpost on the road to recovery.
Psychotherapy is serious business. As therapists we hope to create a safe space for people to share their toughest feelings, deepest fears, painful experiences, marriage problems, work woes, grief, and family situations. It provides an opportunity to gain self-awareness, resolve, and resilience in order to overcome challenges and carve out a better path for the future.
It's odd then to suggest that humor plays a role in therapy. And yet it often does.
Greg was 92. In his elder years, his life had changed dramatically. He had been an on-the-go tennis-playing, Broadway, and opera enthusiast. Physical weakness and instability brought on by Parkinson's disease made it difficult for him to walk. Much of his time was spent in his apartment with his aide. He spent weekends with his adult children, feeling both resentful and guilty about his dependence on them. Nevertheless, given the frequency with which Greg saw his family, he seemed to be in a better situation than many seniors who live isolated lives with few opportunities to visit with their loved ones.
One day Greg, whom I saw on a monthly basis, walked with his cane into my office bitterly complaining about his daughters. The source of his rage: the tissue boxes they had in their homes. “What’s wrong with them? We never had tissues boxes like that when they were growing up!” he practically barked in exasperation. “It’s impossible to get the tissues out.”
As Greg grew red in the face with frustration about the tissue situation, I said, “Greg, if this is the biggest complaint you have against your daughters, I think you’re doing pretty well!” There was probably a big smile on my face as I said that because he suddenly broke into laughter. “I guess you’re right,” he chuckled sheepishly.
I recognized that Greg had been referring to the cube-shaped packages that, because of his problems with dexterity, made it difficult for him to pull tissues out of the bottom of the box. It was also clear to me he needed to gain a little perspective. Fortunately, just a bit of humor gave him a reality check. He went from feeling miserable about his daughters to acknowledging that he had it pretty good. He knew his daughters were devoted to him but his frustration with his physical limitations had clouded his outlook. In this case, humor was, in essence, a vehicle for a new perspective. It planted the seed for positivity.
7 benefits of humor in therapy
Humor is certainly not something that is always appropriate to introduce in a psychotherapy session. It’s hard to imagine employing it at times when someone is expressing feelings of deep pain, loss, grief, or depression. Its appropriateness depends on having a sixth sense of when the mood or content of a therapy session will benefit from a moment of irony, absurdity, or laughter. But when utilized optimally, humor has distinct benefits. It can:
- lighten the moment
- provide a refreshing perspective
- reduce anxiety
- defuse anger
- help leave behind—even if for a moment—feelings of self-doubt, anger, and guilt
- help foster the therapeutic bond
- instill hope
Humor brings hope
In his book Rumour of Angels: Modern Society and the Rediscovery of the Supernatural, sociologist Peter Berger talks about what he calls “signals of transcendence”—little flashes of light which seem to point to a transcendent reality. “By laughing at the imprisonment of the human spirit, humour implies that this imprisonment is not final but will be overcome, and by this implication provides yet another signal of transcendence, in the form of an intimation of redemption.”
In other words, as Berger points out, humor brings hope. As long as we can laugh at something, all is not lost! And sharing a laugh, as all good friends have discovered, fosters an empathic connection. Laughing together helps cement a bond. The bond between therapist and patient is a vitally important ingredient for psychotherapeutic change. It's by sharing one's deepest feelings and thoughts, and even a bit of humor, that this bond grows.
Humor and sensitivity
I learned about the importance of using humor in therapy from my own psychoanalysis. My analyst didn’t offer advice per se but how he handled issues that arose in treatment wasn’t just helpful to me; it is something I have put into use when I treat others. It takes time to hone this skill. It’s not like telling jokes to a friend. And there are no rules or guidelines. It requires being deeply attuned to your patient and sensing when a humorous or ironic interjection will add just the right note to the therapeutic discourse.
As a clinician for four decades, I have witnessed numerous numinous moments in which a sense of closeness and deep humanity came from sharing humor. A lighthearted comment can give a patient that bit of hope or ray of light they need at just that time. Laughing together is actually a sign of therapeutic improvement: People who are severely depressed don’t generally laugh. As treatment progresses, it’s wonderful to see their sense of humor return. That first smile or chuckle can be seen as the inner light breaking through the dark shell of psychopathology and a welcome signpost on the road to recovery.
To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
