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The Great Recession, and all of the challenges that have come with it, are obviously a great source of stress for most of us.
We find ourselves in an era of over-stimulation, fierce competition and a fast paced flow of demands.
Interestingly, we humans have evolved with a brain that was never designed to operate in this sort of environment. We have emerged with a very sensitive, "always-on, better-safe-than-sorry" threat detection system that fires up at a hint of danger, narrowing our attention and sending us into our "fight, flight or freeze mode."
Fortunately, we have also evolved with an efficient system to regulate this sense of fear and dread, which we can find in a deceptively obvious place.
From the moment we are born and throughout our lives, the kindness, compassion and warmth that we receive from others has an impact on our happiness, the development of our brains and bodies, and our experience of stress.
As it turns out, we have evolved to feel soothed in the presence of loving supportive caregivers. A wealth of recent research has indicated that we can train our minds to direct this loving kindness and desire to help inward, by deliberately training ourselves in compassion. This was no secret to centuries of Buddhist meditators, who visualized images of compassion to "transform the mind," as the Dalai Lama has described. Compassion Focused Therapy is a research based method that can help people cultivate self-compassion, which provides a sense of courage and empowerment, so that we might face challenges and overcome our fears. How might we begin to practice self-compassion right here and now, setting ourselves on a path of effective action in the face of all of the disastrous economic news, and real life obstaclesthat we face? As a beginning how might we begin to build the essential skills for self-compassion that can help carry us forward?
These few steps might allow us to cling to what is important, remembering that most of the difficult conditions of our lives, and the make up of our very tricky human brains are not are fault, but we can take responsibility for treating ourselves well, and moving forward moment by moment.
1. Compassionate Attention: Practicing relaxation and non-judgemental mindful awareness has a proven benefit for psychological well being, and need not cost a penny. Our website, mindfulcompassion.com, among many others throughout the web has free, downloadable audio exercises which you can use to begin to learn to slow down, settle your attention in kindness and make contact with the present moment, compassionately.
2. Compassionate Thinking: When you notice your anxious mind has begun to run away with itself, use attention to your breath to pause and rest in the moment. Imagine the presence of a compassionate, wise, and completely non-judgemental friend. This friend understands your struggle and has a genuine with to be helpful and to see you flourish. What would this friend tell you when you need her warmth and wisdom most?
3. Compassionate Behaviour: Remember to treat yourself with kindness. This doesn't mean self-indulgence, or giving in to any old desire that pops up. Compassionate behaviour involves taking good care of yourself, through rest, balance, exercise and sharing the company of friends and family when possible. The key here is that your intention in compassionate behaviour is a genuine wish to alleviate excessive stress, to connect with a sense of purpose and vitality, and to step forward into a meaningful life, even during the darkest times.
These are times of hard choices for most of us. The question may become "What is essential in my life, and what can I let go of?"
As a few well known Irish rockers asked a dozen years ago what is "all that you can't leave behind?" It is said that very few people on their deathbeds wish that they had spent more time in the office. Facing the end of life, people most often ask if they loved well, if they spent their time in ways that extended caring and support to those who matter most to them. Famously, fallen soldiers on the battlefield will most often tell their fellows to tell their wives that they love them as their passing words. What is essential in facing our fears and building our lives, is to invest in our deep wish to be loving and to be loved, and to learn to cultivate self-compassion as a daily practice, and as a way of life.
For more information on how to apply this method, you can pick up The Compassionate Mind Guide To Overcoming Anxiety, at Amazon.com and other online retailers.
Wishing you peace, happiness and flourishing,
Dennis
