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Key points
- Keeping secrets about one's health history isn't unusual, and it can impact one's political viewpoint.
- Feelings can override one's ability to deeply listen and display empathy.
- Sometimes change comes in small increments.
With the midterm elections around the corner, anxiety is high for voters concerned about the elections. When you know your friends and family don’t share your political views, this can intensify your anxiety as well as strain your relationships. Here are five things to keep in mind when talking to friends and family about politics.
Focus on the person and not their viewpoint.
Remember, you are still in a relationship with someone you love. When your political views differ from the views of your relative, take a step back and look at that person. Their perspective is likely informed by their own personal and/or professional experiences. For example, as a Korean-American who doesn’t share the same ethnic background as my adoptive family, I know they do not have the same experiences with racism as I do.
Early in the pandemic, I shared with my mother that a stranger in a local grocery store called me a racial slur. In that moment, I saw a look on her face, not only of shock and disbelief, but of great empathy. It took her a few seconds to verbalize something, but when she did it was one that, to my surprise and delight, supported my political views. For the first time in decades, I witnessed a change. I never could have predicted it happening, but it did.
Sometimes change comes in small increments.
If you’re trying to convince someone to shift their viewpoint from a ten to a one, that might not happen. However, trying to get them to move from a five to a four, for example, is generally easier. And when you share a personal story, this can help create a shift. People generally connect with stories over statistics.
Change is often packed full of fear.
While you may embrace change, others may see it as a threat. This can apply to change in the workplace or change in a political setting. While things may be clear to you why change is needed, others may feel fear and that creates anxiety. The fear can create a blindspot. Not being certain of the future and being comfortable with the familiar, even if it isn’t pleasant, can keep people from changing their viewpoint.
Feelings can override one's ability to deeply listen and display empathy.
When you’re speaking to someone, keep in mind that you’re also engaging in an emotion, such as vulnerability, fear, or anxiety. And while your words may be clear and well-spoken, when people are feeling afraid or anxious, it is more difficult for them to process what you’re saying. They may even nod in agreement just hoping you’ll stop talking because they want their uncomfortable feelings to cease. This can block their ability to show empathy.
Secrets aren’t uncommon.
When you’re speaking with your friend or family member about an issue near and dear to you, such as abortion, keep in mind you may not know their entire health history. Concealing health issues concerning themselves or a loved one isn’t unusual. In fact, they may say one thing and vote another way. And this action might be due to a secret they’re keeping from you.
As stressful as it can be, keep in mind that you may never know how your words will impact the way a person votes or your relationship with them.
