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Key points
- On a "co-working date", two people work alongside each other even though they are not co-workers.
- A co-working date can be a time-saver, allow you to remain productive work-wise and go out on more dates.
- It can help two people see each other in their own element, which can provide a whole lot of information.
- Co-working dates are not for everyone. But it can be a dating approach worth considering.
Will co-working dates really work to help you find the right one? A co-working date involves using your time away from work to go on a date to, well, work. Rather than spending time watching a movie, attending a concert, or doing typical date stuff, you spend a date working alongside each other.
It doesn't mean that you and your date are co-workers or necessarily have to work on the same thing. You can be doing totally separate things like checking emails, writing a report or article, doing calculations, coding, or even participating in a conference call while sitting next to each other. In other words, you would be doing exactly what you would do at work, just in the company of someone who doesn't necessarily work at your company.
Now, such a date may not work for you if you want a date to be all about wooing. After all, "Want to look at my spreadsheet" may not seem to be the most romantic thing to say. But such a dating approach could make sense for three reasons.
It can be a time saver.
All that traditional dating stuff can take a lot of time, which you may not have a whole lot of if you have a job, especially a demanding job. Going on an unsuccessful date can feel like a tremendous waste of time. A co-working date would allow you to remain at least somewhat productive. It also could allow you to go on more dates.
It can help you get to know each other better.
A second reason is getting to see each other in your own element, which can provide a whole lot of information. Unless you work as a restaurant critic or professional movie watcher, most traditional dates are really quite artificial situations. As a result, people often don't behave as they usually do. In fact, some people can be very good at staging what happens during a date. Seeing whether the person can read a menu and pronounce the word sommelier is not going to give you a whole lot of information.
A co-working date can help you better understand what the other person is really like, which, after all, should be the goal of a date. A co-working date can also help you more readily confirm whether the other person actually has a job and whether it is indeed the same job indicated on that person's dating profile. For example, if the person said he is a tech executive, you could see whether that person can actually use a computer.
It can reduce the pressure.
A co-working date can take away a lot of the pressure normally associated with a date. Instead of struggling to find things to say, the conversation could flow more naturally as in, "Ugh, this project has yet another meeting. Don't you hate it when people want to meet without really doing anything?" There can be less pressure to perform, since you're just doing what you do every day. Planning for a co-working date can be a lot simpler than planning a more elaborate event.
It's not for everyone.
Of course, a co-working date is not for everyone. If your day job is spent say collecting bull semen or being yelled at by your boss, that may not translate quite as well for a date. You may not be ready to invite a stranger into your working world just yet. You may want to keep very distinct lines between your work life and your social life.
You may argue that a co-working date lacks romance and doesn't require the "effort" that should be put into a date that you want. You may feel that there is less opportunity to have a deep discussion if both people are working at the same time, although how much conversing really happens when you are both watching the Barbie movie on a date? Plus, if the conversation gets really intriguing, you could always put down your work for a while.
But it could be for you.
Depending on your inclinations and circumstances, a co-working date may or may not work well for you. If this does seem like the type of shift that you would like to make, checking to see whether the other person is willing to go on a co-working date could, in fact, help determine whether the person is a good match for you. If the other person insists that a date should be an elaborate pursuit instead, then maybe you do have very different philosophies about relationships.
Ultimately, dating is all about matching, finding the person who is a good fit for you, your personality, and your aspirations. And to do that well, you've got to find the dating style that matches you and best represents who you really are. If you feel that you can't really be yourself on a date, then dating can end up being much too much hard work.
