5 Ways to Help Teens Stop Procrastinating and Get Things Done

If you have teenagers in your house, chances are they don’t always “jump to it” when you have something you’d like them to do. Whether it’s getting their homework done, helping with chores around the house, or getting up at a decent hour on weekends, they’re most likely on their own schedule, which may be much, much slower than yours. As a result, there are conflicts that most likely occur between family members as you try to get teens to adhere to a schedule you find more reasonable.

One of the problems parents face is that teenagers don’t have the same priorities as adults. They don’t particularly care if they do their homework promptly and responsibly. They’ll get around to it. Chores are no fun, and often they wait until parents are at their wit’s end before complying. If you’ve had to raise your voice repeatedly to get anything done around the house by your teen, you know the reality of this situation.

The good news is that, developmentally, teens are in a place where they can be motivated to become more responsible. The first step in doing this is to start to shift the responsibility from yourself to them. That means they need to be responsible for getting their chores done or their homework completed. After all, if you continue to manage their choices, they won’t learn to function effectively in the world. Starting with the awareness that it may seem almost impossible for teens to become more self-motivated and responsible, here are some ideas to help teens to start taking responsibility for their own actions.

1. Shift Responsibility to the Teen.

Up until now, chances are you were a lot more invested in your adolescent completing their responsibilities than they were. Self-motivation to do chores or homework can be rare indeed. The good news is that can change. It all comes down to the proper motivation. Millions of people go to jobs every day that they’re not crazy about. They do it because the reward outweighs the alternative. The same can be applied to motivating teenagers.

Teens want things from us. They want to be driven places, or if they’re driving, they want to use the car. They want to go to parties and stay out late with their friends. These are all things that require a teenager to be responsible. These are privileges that require parental trust to help keep them safe. When you shift the responsibility of getting things done from yourself to the teenager and reinforce it with a rewards system that gives them something they want if they comply, you help them develop a sense of responsibility and empowerment. While you may have to remind them to complete their tasks at first, chances are they will get the message and complete their chores to get the rewards they want.

2. Let Them Set the Time to Accomplish Their Goals.

As parents, we watch our kids appear at times to be unmotivated. As a result, we wind up managing their time for them. We tell them when to do their homework. We remind them to do the dishes. We set their bedtimes. Doing these things puts the responsibility to honor their commitments on our shoulders. We wind up having to continually remind them to get things done, and this is frustrating for us and for them.

Maybe it’s time to let teenagers start managing their own time. This can shift the responsibility for getting things done from the adult to the teenager. Explain that they’re older now, and you expect them to be more responsible. Talk with them about the importance of being able to be self-motivated and accomplishing their goals. Be specific about what needs to be done and the deadline for getting it done. Explain that the more responsible they are, the more privileges they will get in the household.

3. Excuses Better Be Valid.

Kids love to make excuses for why they’re not getting things done. Let them know that excuses no longer cut it. They need to take care of their commitments within the time limits agreed upon. With teenagers, often their excuses are just a way to get out of taking responsibility for their behaviors. By holding teens to their word and not allowing excuses to easily “get them off the hook,” you are helping them understand that their commitments matter and are expected to be met.

4. Expect Them to Do What They Say They’re Going to Do.

When your teen gets older and starts working or getting into a serious relationship, their bosses and partners are going to expect them to honor their commitments. This is an important life skill that the sooner they learn, the better off they will be. Let teens know that when they agree to something, you expect them to follow through and complete what they’ve promised. You’re not being rigid or unfair by expecting them to keep their word.

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5. Have Clear Expectations.

It’s not bad parenting to expect your child to contribute something to the household. Whether it’s chores, taking care of younger siblings, or just getting good grades, these are not unreasonable expectations for your teen. It’s actually unfair of parents to have no expectations for their children during most of their young life and then criticize them for lazing around the house all day.

Expectations are a good thing. They help prepare the child for adulthood and can give them a sense of being able to accomplish things. Having clear expectations is also a great way to build self-confidence.

Admittedly, it’s not easy to motivate teens. Whether you choose a reward system or just structure a schedule they can adhere to, the important thing is to help motivate your teen to start taking responsibility for their own behaviors and choices. As children reach their teenage years, developing a sense of responsibility can make a big difference in their ability to succeed. It’s a vital life skill that can help them feel empowered, which can lead to increased self-esteem.