Verified by 
Key points
- Over time, stress and anxiety can lead successful children to become overwhelmed and unable to continue functioning effectively.
- Finding techniques to help adolescents reduce their stress levels can help keep them from becoming overwhelmed.
- Being a nonjudgmental listener can help create a safe space for children to share their feelings and reduce their stress levels.
Children face many stressors in their lives. There is the pressure of school, chores, friends, family, social media, and many others that our children face every day. While we may struggle with stressors of our own, we have an adult perspective that gives us some control over our choices and environment. Children don’t have that perspective and are just learning about priorities and what works for them in the world. As a result, it’s easy for kids to become overwhelmed when faced with emotionally difficult situations in their lives.
Children who are acting out because of emotional difficulties are clearly visible and recognized as needing support. However, many high-functioning kids who show no signs of emotional difficulties and are seemingly handling things in their life very well may escape our notice. Yet the kids who excel in school and seem to have it all together may also have some of the same pressures under the surface as those who are visibly struggling.
Even Gifted Kids Can Become Overwhelmed
Whether it’s becoming upset because of a bad grade when they’re used to getting A’s in school or feeling they don’t measure up to their friends, even the brightest and most seemingly together children and teens can become overwhelmed. They may be withstanding this pressure well; however, there is a breaking point where they may become so overwhelmed they shut down and have trouble functioning effectively.
This can affect anyone, no matter how smart or popular they are. Kids and teens may feel like they’re barely measuring up with all of the expectations they put upon themselves. They may feel like they’re on a treadmill of responsibility, and, if they make one wrong step, they could fall off. Burnout can result from an overwhelming amount of stress and anxiety.
It's Easy to Become Overwhelmed
Some adolescents may feel they have to be perfect to be worthwhile. If they’re not perfect, they can feel worthless. It is this idea of perfectionism that can make teens unable to truly appreciate their accomplishments. When perfection is the minimum standard of acceptability, the stress can be overwhelming. Too much stress can create an overload of pressure that can cause adolescents to shut down emotionally and lose their desire to continue making an effort. This may result in giving up, where a child may sleep most of the day and not want to do things that in the past they enjoyed. They may shy away from friends and lose their drive to succeed.
This type of burnout can be damaging and can harm their self-esteem. They may start feeling less confident or even lose their desire to take on projects at home or at school. They are not being lazy. They may be struggling to let go of the constant pressure they feel. When this happens, the more a parent can be understanding that their child may have reached a limit of their stress levels, the more they can be of help to their child. Being sensitive to the stress they’ve felt can help them not feel as alone with the pressures they were under. Their feelings of stress may have been going on much longer than anyone realized. The child may have done the best they could to juggle all of their responsibilities and at some point couldn’t juggle them anymore.
Parents Can Help Their Kids Avoid Burnout
As parents, it’s vital we let our kids know we support them. Let them know they don’t have to bottle up their stress and can share their feelings with us. By allowing them the ability to express themselves and share their struggles with us, we may be able to help them release the pressure they feel. The hope is that by being able to share their struggles with someone they are less likely to become overwhelmed.
Burnout is not pleasant for anyone. It’s especially jarring if your child had been excelling in their life and suddenly becomes unable to function effectively. It’s important to realize that just because a child may seem fine, it doesn’t mean they’re not struggling in some way. Stress and anxiety can build up and need to find a way to be released so it doesn’t become overwhelming.
If your child is gifted and excels in their life, don’t take it for granted. Let them know you are proud of them; let them know you love and appreciate who they are. Just because a child seems to have everything handled doesn’t negate the fact that they still need your support.
As adults, we have learned ways to help ourselves reduce our stress levels to avoid burnout. Our children may not be so clear on what reduces theirs. Talking with your child and helping them with techniques to reduce their stress can help in many ways. Finding out what’s on their mind can also help illuminate what they might need to help them feel less overwhelmed. Giving children the space to share how they’re feeling can help normalize some of their concerns.
The bottom line is that even the most gifted children are still children. They’re in the process of gaining awareness of the world and figuring out their place in it. By listening to them and letting them know they’re not alone and helping to normalize their anxiety, we can help them cope more effectively with the stressors in their lives.
