Family Responsibilities Can Give Teens a Head Start in Life

Like most of us, teens are not crazy about doing chores or other activities they don’t enjoy. After all, who wants to rake leaves or do dishes when they could be visiting with friends or playing games on the internet? Even with a reluctance to do so, learning to take on family responsibilities can be an important facet of developmental growth. Accomplishing chores and other commitments is important, both as a help around the house and as preparation for the responsibilities of adulthood. As most parents know, it’s not always easy to have your child take these responsibilities seriously. Sometimes there can be great resistance, fraught with drama and emotional outbursts.

Following Through on Commitments

Unsurprisingly, teens don’t like being told what to do. This is especially true when it’s something they don’t want to do. Yet, often their chores are needed to help around the house. It’s also important for them to understand being responsible to help when they’re older and adjusting to roommates, jobs, or starting their own families. There can be great consequences to not following through on their commitments in life. Whether it’s at the workplace or with their families, the last thing we want is for our children to be at risk when they become adults.

It's important that our kids understand the value of being responsible without having them feel as if they’re being picked on and treated unfairly. This can involve a discussion and clarity as to what’s expected of them. Since teens want to be given more responsibility as they get older, it’s only fair that they take on their share of responsibilities as well.

While this may be a hard sell initially, especially if not much has been expected of them when they were younger, it’s important on a number of levels. The key question is, how do we instill responsibility without having World War Three on our hands? The answer varies depending on the temperament of the child; however, it’s important that they have the ability to be responsible for the sake of their own futures.

Being Responsible Can Provide Real Benefits to Teens

The first key is finding a way to have your teen “buy in” to taking more responsibility. This can hopefully be achieved by discussing the benefits to them by doing so. You can explain that they’re getting older and will want more mature privileges in their lives. Whether it’s driving or being able to go to late parties with their friends, it’s going to be important that they can keep their word.

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Keeping their word is the first step in growing up to be responsible people. When someone can say what they’re going to do and then actually do it, they become a trustworthy person. It is a skill that helps people get a leg up in whatever they choose to do in life. Being able to establish trust by making a commitment and following through on it can be akin to a superpower. It can help establish trust and show that the person can be counted on to deliver what they promise. This is the type of reputation that can pay dividends throughout their lives.

Of course, making this clear to teenagers is not always easy. The importance of responsibility must be communicated as a way to enhance their lives and not as a punishment. One of the key ways to be effective is not to get into an emotional argument with the child. This discussion should be a mature talk, where the teen is shown the benefits of being a responsible member of the family.

If teens rebel and refuse at first, that’s normal. Being contrary is a part of their emotional development. It may take a while for teens to accept and understand the concept of showing responsibility to receive more responsibility. Once they realize this, they will hopefully be much more amenable to helping around the house and actually making commitments they follow up on and accomplish.