Five Minutes That Can Change a Teen’s Life

I was recently watching Jerry Seinfeld interview comedian Margaret Cho. She was discussing her career and said something I found very important. She explained that when she was first starting out in comedy, she won a contest that gave her the opportunity to open a show for Jerry Seinfeld. She explained that after her performance, Seinfeld took her aside and told her he thought she had a very unique perspective and if she chose to continue in comedy she would be very successful. Margaret Cho said it was those words that gave her the courage to continue her efforts in stand-up comedy.

It is amazing how just a few words of support and encouragement can make such a huge difference in someone’s life. While negativity can shut down a child’s enthusiasm, positive support can help build self-confidence and determination. Margaret Cho’s self-confidence got the boost it needed to continue as a comedian from what were probably long-forgotten comments Seinfeld made years ago. Yet, they were obviously very important and impactful to the person on the receiving end of them.

As a therapist, clients have commented on statements I made in previous sessions that made an impact on them. While I do not always remember the comments in question, I do know that positivity and support can make a big difference in therapy and in everyday life.

The Impact of Your Words

If you have contact with teens and adolescents, be aware that they’re listening to you. They may not act like they’re listening, but they are. The way you interact with them can make a huge difference in their self-image and motivation to strive for what they want in life. When adolescents know that the adults in their life support them and believe in them, it can instill a confidence to help them move forward in their lives successfully. This is the type of confidence that helps them weather their disappointments and continue moving forward until they reach their goals. This is also a confidence that can last well beyond their teenage years. This confidence can last a lifetime and let them know they can tackle whatever comes their way with courage and determination.

It may seem counter-intuitive that something as transitory as a passing positive comment can instill so much confidence and drive. Yet, sometimes it’s those positive, supportive comments that we internalize that really help to boost our belief in ourselves. Think about the times you received praise or were told that you were good at something. Think about the times that someone supported your ideas and let you know your choices had value. It’s during those times that we gather the strength we need to work through the times in life when things do not go our way.

Building Confidence

Teens need our support. While they can be difficult, even defiant at times, and act like they don’t care about what we have to say, much of the time it’s not true. While teens may be acting out in ways that frustrate us, they can still be insecure and clumsily trying to find their own identities. During these times they still need to know we’re behind them and believe in them. While they may act like they no longer need us or our support, the opposite is true.

There are many changes that occur during the teenage years as they grow from children to young adults. Sometimes they mask their insecurities by being rude and aloof. It’s a way they can protect themselves from feeling vulnerable. It’s during these times that they are trying to figure out who they are and establish their own identities. Just because they may not ask for our support doesn’t mean they don’t need it. It can be so valuable to show them we continue to believe in them throughout this period in their lives. Our support can help make the difference in giving them the confidence to not give up when things get hard so they can make their dreams and aspirations a reality.