Erotic Mind Training: Imagine Your Way to Hotter Sex

Beyond interpersonal attraction, two important ingredients of great sex are deep relaxation and vivid erotic fantasies. Relaxation increases blood flow to the genitals, necessary for erotic sensitivity and responsiveness. Fantasies heighten sexual arousal.

Unfortunately, many people feel unnerved by their erotic fantasies. Potentially disconcerting fantasies include: thoughts of sex outside one’s relationship, BDSM, anal play, or risky or group sex.

Fortunately, simple mind-training techniques simultaneously enhance both deep relaxation and the erotic imagination. The self-help version is called self-hypnosis, visualization, or guided imagery. When provided by professionals, it’s called hypnotherapy or autogenic training. What ever you call it, hypnosis combines deep breathing and the imagination to enhance the pleasure of lovemaking.

You’re NOT Getting Sleepy….

The mind has powerful impact on the body. Since prehistoric times, traditional healers have used the power of suggestion in healing.

But the technique was not prevalent in the West until 1778, when Viennese physician Franz Anton Mesmer brought mind-body medicine to Paris. Mesmer prescribed listening to music and holding hands (both relaxing), while he provided verbal suggestions, for example: "You’re free from pain." Many of his patients swore that “mesmerism” resolved a broad array of physical symptoms and emotional distress. But Mesmer lived two centuries before medical research proved that mind-body medicine works. In 1784, the French Academy of Sciences lambasted Mesmer as a charlatan, which ruined him.

But mesmerism survived, renamed hypnotism or hypnosis. By the late nineteenth century, it had become a form of wacky entertainment. Outlandishly dressed nightclub hypnotists swung pocket watches before the faces of people who were often shills, and said, “You’re getting sleepy.” Once ushered into hypnotic trances, subjects embarrassed themselves doing silly things they supposedly couldn’t remember when the hypnotist snapped fingers to wake them up.

Today, hypnotherapy is a respected branch of medicine with research published in the American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis and many other journals, particularly nursing publications. It’s not about getting sleepy or falling into trances. Hypnosis actually heightens awareness with a combination of deep relaxation, which opens the mind, and suggestions, which help retrain it.

Some parts of the brain are involved in reasoning and critical thinking, while other parts control imagination and inner experience. Brain scans show that hypnosis activates the brain’s imagination and experiential centers.

Decades of rigorous research show that self-hypnosis and professional hypnotherapy can help treat many conditions, including: pain (notably migraines), children’s problems (bedwetting, thumb-sucking), and chronic illnesses (including anxiety, asthma, gastrointestinal distress, and high blood pressure). It also hastens recovery from injuries and surgery and can even be used as a substitute for anesthesia. A friend of mine used it instead of anesthesia for surgery that removed uterine fibroids.

Self-Hypnosis for Sexual Enhancement

It’s easy to use self-hypnosis to enrich lovemaking, either solo or with a partner:

• Simmering. During the teen years and young adulthood, many men can become sexually aroused in moments. But as they age, instant arousal fades and they realize that feeling turned on requires effort. Many men find this disconcerting. Sex therapists have developed an effective treatment—simmering fantasies. Say you’re likely to make love some evening. Starting that morning, daydream something vividly sexual every few hours—anything involving anyone that makes you tingle with anticipation. This is self-hypnosis. Simmering beforehand can boost arousal and enjoyment later.

• Performance anxiety. Self-hypnosis is deeply calming, which increases blood flow into the genitals. This enhances erections in men and self-lubrication in women. It can also help those with disabilities.

• Orgasm. In one study involving 175 participants, self-hypnosis helped more than half work up to climax.

Hypnosis for Sexual Issues

Many studies show that self-hypnosis and hypnotherapy can reduce sexual anxiety, enhance arousal, help overcome feared sexual moves (notably oral sex), and contribute to the resolution of sexual dysfunctions:

• University of Texas researchers surveyed 25 women, age 20 to 44, who complained of difficulties with sexual arousal. The women learned meditative deep breathing and subsequently listened to a 22-minute recording that assured them they could become more aroused. After just one session, post-testing showed improved arousal and significantly enhanced perceptions of genital sensations. A similar study with 78 women showed the similar results.

Sex Essential Reads

Why Autistic People Might Experience Sex in a Different Way

More Evidence Supports Two Treatments for Women’s Low Desire

• The same researchers surveyed 33 women, aged 18 to 27, who reported no sexual difficulties. Then the investigators wired their genitals to measure blood flow. After one session of hypnotic deep relaxation, the women reported greater subjective arousal and showed increased genital blood flow, an indication of arousal.

• Turkish researchers gave 60 middle-age men reporting mild-to-moderate erection difficulties one of three treatments: a placebo, acupuncture, or hypnotic suggestion that they could function fine. Placebo treatment helped 45 percent and acupuncture 60 percent—but hypnotherapy helped 75 percent. Many other studies document the utility of hypnosis for mild-to-moderate erection problems.

• During menopause, many women report problems with sexual arousal and function. Baylor University investigators assessed the sexual function of a group of menopausal women and then enrolled them in five sessions of hypnotic relaxation with suggestions that they could become more aroused and function fine. Afterward, they reported significant sexual improvements.

• Investigators at Queen’s University in Ontario provided six sessions of professional hypnotherapy to eight women suffering genital pain (vulvar vestibulitis). Afterward, they reported significantly less pain during intercourse and significantly greater sexual satisfaction.

For more on sexual enhancement using hypnosis, read Mind Play: A Guide to Erotic Hypnosis by Mark Wiseman.