Men Who Pay Women for Sex and What The "Johns" Think of It

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Sex researchers have a voyeuristic relationship with sex work. Over the past 70 years, literally, hundreds of studies have explored the dynamics of prostitution using interviews with both the women who provide sexual services and the men who pay women for sex (MPWS).

Recently, two Israeli researchers analyzed 54 studies of men who visit sex workers. The studies involved interviews with MPWS, focus groups, and posts on online forums. The studies were conducted in more than a dozen countries: the U.S., the U.K., Canada, Australia, and many more in Asia, Africa, and Central and South America, where affluent men travel for sex tourism.

Emblem of Masculinity

In most of the studies, the majority of the men saw little if anything wrong with paying women for sex. That’s not surprising. After all, they all paid women for sex, and most said they felt fine about it. Here’s what they said:

• Sex is a basic male need. Most men want sex more than most women.

• Men have paid women for sex for thousands of years in a vast array of cultures around the world. Therefore, paying women for sex is normal and natural.

• When men don’t have sex partners or when sex partners don’t meet men’s needs for sexual frequency or repertoire, it’s reasonable—and masculine—to pay sex workers.

• Paying women for sex is a reasonable way to lose one’s virginity and gain sexual experience, especially for men who are disabled and may not prove sexually attractive to many women.

• In countries that forbid divorce, it’s reasonable to pay women for sex when marriages have collapsed.

• Paying women for sex can help with male bonding, as when male friends or business associates hire sex workers for bachelor parties or visit strip clubs or brothels together.

• Sex tourism provides support for poor women in countries where they have few financial opportunities.

• All heterosexual men pay women for sex. During courtship and marriage, men pay indirectly—wining and dining with women and providing financially for their wives. In sex work, men pay directly for the sex and dispense with the rest.

But some felt ambivalent and a few expressed shame for being MPWS:

• Real men don’t pay for sex. Doing so compromises masculinity and says you’re a failure as a man.

• Paying women for sex reflects “weakness” and “sex addiction.”

• Paying for sex cannot involve emotional intimacy. There’s no relationship, no life sharing.

• Paying women for sex may contribute to their exploitation by pimps and traffickers.

• In some countries, notably Scandinavian nations, paying women for sex can get men arrested, humiliated, and forced to attend “john school,” lessons aimed at keeping men from paying women for sex.

The Debate Changes

Since 2000, narratives about sex work have changed. Those opposed used to call it immoral but victimless. Today, they’ve dropped allegations of immorality, which don’t work like they used to.

Now critics of sex work insist it’s not victimless, that women sex workers are victims of human trafficking, and that customers are aiding and abetting this crime. They say MPWS are cruel exploiters who should be arrested and punished with "john school" or fines or imprisonment.

Meanwhile, those who support sex work used to shrug and say it’s the oldest profession and can’t be eliminated. Today, they call for at least decriminalization, and many advocate legalization and establishment of brothels run by sex workers.

How Prevalent Is Human Trafficking?

Human trafficking is reprehensible. Even one trafficked individual is one too many. But human trafficking appears to be much less common than anti-trafficking activists opposed to sex work claims.

They cite figures from the International Labor Organization that 21 million people worldwide are currently subject to forced labor, of whom 22 percent, overwhelmingly women, are forced into sex work—4.6 million women.

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However, the best source of information on this crime, the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, estimates 55,000 trafficked persons worldwide annually, 59 percent of whom are women, with 58 percent of them sexually exploited—19,000.

All trafficked women should be freed immediately. But comparing the two estimates for sex trafficking—4,600,000 vs. 19,000 (less than one-half of 1 percent of the former figure)— those who see sex trafficking everywhere appear to have vastly exaggerated the problem.

Yes, some sex workers have been trafficked, and others participate reluctantly, feeling they have no viable financial alternative.

But many sex workers affirmatively choose it—at least during their twenties and sometimes longer. They are often among the 5 percent of women who are highly sexual, who want considerably more sex than most men, and who can make more money as sex workers than they can in most other jobs.

Legalize It

Prohibiting vice never works. Consider the U.S. prohibition of alcohol from 1920 until 1933. There’s no evidence that drinking declined. Prohibition simply drove it underground—and enriched organized crime syndicates, creating the modern Mafia.

Consider marijuana prohibition. It didn’t work either. Today, 38 states (76 percent) have legalized cannabis for medicinal uses, and 23 states (46 percent) have legalized it entirely, with no adverse public health consequences. The scare-mongering 1936 film, Reefer Madness, has become a joke—that many people view while "stoned."

In 2015, Amnesty International, the Nobel-Prize-winning, human-rights organization, called for the decriminalization of all adult sex work.

Amnesty proclaimed that its decision reflects its firm commitment to human rights.

Sex workers are among the most marginalized populations in the world. They are particularly at risk for human rights violations, including physical and sexual violence, arbitrary arrest and detention, extortion, harassment, and exclusion from health care, housing, and other social and legal benefits available to other workers.

Amnesty argues that decriminalization empowers sex workers: “Gender inequality and discrimination promote women’s entry into sex work. Criminalizing women for a lack of life choices is not the answer.”

Amnesty International insists that its advocacy of decriminalization in no way promotes pimping or trafficking—which is why two prominent anti-trafficking groups, Anti-Slavery International and the Global Alliance Against Trafficking in Women, agree with the group and support decriminalization. Amnesty supports strong penalties for human trafficking and sexual exploitation.

Whatever the legal fate of sex work, many men worldwide are certain to continue to pay women for sex. As the recent study shows, some feel fine about it. Others express ambivalence. And some believe it’s wrong but feel unable to stop.

Sex researchers will undoubtedly continue to investigate sex work. I hope they support its decriminalization and legalization.