What Is It Like to Be a Female Pedophile?

Source: Jurica Koletić (via Unsplash)

What is the image that instinctively comes to mind when you try to picture a pedophile? It is probably led by media depictions of child sexual offenses, where predatory men are reported to be abusing young children. With such high-profile and emotive stories, imagining a woman might be difficult.

Ignoring the fact that such stories of child abuse may or may not actually reflect pedophilia*, this coverage creates a mental heuristic that pedophiles are men with deviant sexual interests. Not only is this heuristic held by large portions of the public, but there are also professionals working in clinical psychology who have doubts over the existence of women who are sexually attracted to children.

These doubts at least partly explain a lack of available services for women who may be struggling with sexual attraction toward children. They are also indicative of additional hurdles to their well-being over-and-above the sizable barriers to seeking help that is known to be experienced by people attracted to minors in a broader sense.

What About Women Who Say They're Attracted to Children?

Despite these societal and professional views about the gendered nature of sexual attractions to children, a small collection of studies have reported that a minority of people attracted to minors identify as female. These analyses have generally found few differences between men and women with sexual attractions to children, with a key difference being that women are more likely to be engaged in adult-directed sexual behaviors in combination with their sexual attractions to children.

However, all of these analyses have relied on studying a small subset of participants within a broader dataset, and are limited in terms of exploring the lived experiences of women who experience sexual attractions to children. Recognizing this gap in the literature, a new study from Rebecca Lievesley and Rhia Lapworth explored this topic using qualitative methods designed to provide rich data about the experiences of sexual attractions to children among women.

Six women who self-reported such sexual attractions discussed their experiences with the researchers for an average of around 75 minutes. Applying interpretative phenomenological analysis, two main themes were elicited from the interviews, showing both similarities and differences to the established literature on males attracted to minors.

In terms of similarities, the women interviewed discussed having a "lonely secret existence." This is characterized by feeling as though they are hiding a core part of their identity from loved ones, leading to superficial and, in many cases, inauthentic relationships with friends and family members.

In spite of the loneliness that is experienced as a result of this, there is a level of social stigma about their sexual attractions that stop them from disclosing this information. In turn, this lack of disclosure acts as a barrier to seeking support for the mental health issues that are common among people attracted to minors, increasing the risk of adverse effects including self-harm and suicide.

Where the women in Lievesley and Lapworth's study differed from the existing literature, though, was in the gendered nature of their experiences within the community of people attracted to minors. The participants spoke of themselves questioning their experiences, and doubting whether their difficulties were just all in their heads.

For many, it was only logging on to support forums and meeting other women who assured them that they weren't alone. However, the experience of such online environments can be difficult for women in the context of such a gendered skew among people attracted to minors. One suggested how men on the forums doubted their female identity, reinforcing the social stereotype that female pedophiles don't exist.

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This feeling of being a minority within a minority was said to be a "double-edged sword," as it served to increase mental health difficulties within the community, while simultaneously acting as a buffer against the stigmatization of the 'usual' pedophile stereotype. That is, while the women interviewed felt isolated both in their physical lives and in virtual pedophile communities, they acknowledged that the usual stigma of pedophilia might not apply to them because they do not fit the stereotype.

Towards More Effective Support Services

This study highlights some important issues related to pedophilia and the design of support services for people with this sexual attraction pattern.

First, it highlights that female pedophiles do exist, contrary to social views and some professional opinions. It also illuminates some of the common experiences faced by most people attracted to minors, irrespective of their gender. Issues such as living inauthentically, fearing stigma, and struggling to access support when it is needed appear to be common across both men and women.

However, Lievesley and Lapworth flag important additional needs for women who are sexually attracted to children, specifically in terms of how they access online support. Internet forums can act as a surrogate for social contact and authentic relationships for men who are sexually attracted to children, but the women in this sample said that they experienced suspicion even in these communities.

As such, developing women-only forums, or spaces dedicated to women on existing sites, might be a positive step to give these individuals a safe space for self-expression and engaging with peer support services.

None of this should ignore the larger issue, that society needs a much more comprehensive approach to helping people with sexual attractions to children work through any issues that they are experiencing, both to improve their well-being and to prevent the sexual abuse of children. Lievesley and Lapworth's findings are consistent with an emerging evidence base that the most effective way to address pedophilia at the societal level is through a public health lens, rather than one with a criminal justice focus.

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(*The term "pedophilia," clinically speaking, is reserved for describing a persistent pattern of sexual attractions to prepubescent children, rather than any abusive behavior. It is generally accepted by clinicians that people can experience pedophilic sexual attractions without acting on them.)