5 Things to Know if You Recognize Narcissism in Yourself

Narcissistic personality has become a hot topic in the last few years. We are talking about narcissism more than ever and, as a result, many are recognizing narcissistic traits in themselves or others. For some, it can add light to understanding, yet narcissistic personality disorder holds perhaps the highest level of stigma of any mental health condition. Seeing these traits in oneself can be unsettling.

Despite the reality of narcissistic personality disorder being a health condition with available interventions, the label often drapes with shame. Online portrayals of narcissism, at times, send a message equating narcissistic personality disorder with most undesirable traits a person can have, painting in its wake a caricature of a person no one would wish to be seen as.

How do you separate useful, accurate information on narcissistic personality from the infinite misunderstandings surrounding the condition? The answer is complex.

What follows are five facts that might be of assistance.

1. Everyone has some narcissistic traits

Great theorists on narcissism, such as Heinz Kohut, initially equated narcissism with self-love (Kohut, 1966), something that, in moderation, is healthy and necessary. Still, narcissistic personality disorder is anything but. Rather, it leads someone to lose touch with their values. We all have some difficulties in our relationships with ourselves and others as well as, hopefully, some level of regard for ourselves. Pathological narcissism, or narcissistic personality disorder, is a clinical picture where these traits rise to persistent, problematic levels.

2. Narcissism is not synonymous with 'bad person'

Narcissism is tagged in pop culture with almost every negative trait imaginable. Yet, narcissistic personality disorder itself is not a character assessment. The condition describes a particular pattern of functioning in terms of empathy, intimacy, identity, and self-direction (Miller et al., 2022). These are the personality dimensions outlined within the alternative dimensional model of personality disorder outlined in the DSM. Some personality disorder experts are advocating to move away from specific personality disorder diagnoses altogether, focusing instead on these dimensions and finding these to be more precise and helpful to treatment.

3. Narcissistic personality is complex and sometimes painful

Narcissistic personality disorder affects one's relationships with self and others. A need for superiority breeds impossible standards, ironically landing one in a space where mistakes are intolerable, and where one can never be "good enough." Narcissistic personality disorder lends itself to isolating social behaviors and a lack of closeness to others. The diagnosis is associated with depression, anxiety, and other measures of distress (Miller et al, 2007).

4. Accepting ourselves and our challenges is a sign of strength and psychological health

To be honest with ourselves and others about the parts of us we find hard to accept is among the most courageous things we can do. We don't have to qualify for a personality disorder diagnosis to work through something within us. Even if you seek support and are not assigned a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder, most all can benefit from reflection and self-growth.

5. Psychotherapy is available for narcissistic personality

Psychotherapy, including mentalization-based treatment and CBT for personality disorders, is available to treat narcissistic personality disorder. With help, it is possible to improve. Finding a therapist with a specialty in this area is an excellent first step. An effective and compassionate therapist can provide you with support and evidence-based intervention as you grow.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.