How to Get Unstuck

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In their 2024 book, Better in Every Sense, longtime collaborators from the University of Toronto, Norman Farb and Zindel Segal, explain the neuroscience underlying how we can overcome the feeling of being trapped in unsatisfying lives. Based on decades of research, they point out that feeling stuck involves the dominance of the default mode network (DMN), a neural system that extends from the back of the brain to the front like a dorsal fin. It is responsible for habitual ways of thinking and self-consciousness.

They argue that the key to getting unstuck involves “sense foraging,” which involves tempering the DMN's dominance by intentionally being more receptive to sensory information and novel experiences.

I interviewed Farb to learn more about the book, its creation, and its lessons for a well-lived life.

Jamie Gruman: What is the theme of the book?

Norm Farb: Sometimes life shuts down our ability to sense and do things differently. When we feel “stuck,” this is what’s happening. We get trapped in our heads through the brain’s default mode network (DMN). The DMN maintains habits for the way we perceive, think, and act. It is very useful and, in fact, necessary, but when we are stressed, the DMN can become overactive. We end up focusing too much on thinking about our problems, which gets us stuck in our own minds, feeling locked into the roles we occupy.

The solution is to practice focusing on sensation, which diverts resources from the DMN to other parts of the brain. By weakening the DMN’s priority, you can feel free from obsessing over your stress and become “unstuck.” Essentially, you want to get into your body to get out of your head. The book focuses on why we get stuck and how sensation can be an antidote.

JG: What results surprised you the most in conducting the research on which the book is based?

NF: When I started this research, I thought that the villain would be the DMN, continually casting us in stress-ridden personal narratives. But when we showed sad film clips to people in magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) machines, we found that DMN activation didn’t explain who was most likely to get stuck in depression. Instead, depression was related to other brain regions. Sensory regions became deactivated. For people who are prone to getting stuck, the brain networks for how we feel in our bodies shut down in response to stress, leaving us with only conceptual networks for understanding our experience. Getting stuck involves the deactivation of sensory networks rather than the over-activation of personal narrative networks involved in meaning-making. Self-narrative is essential. It is not the villain.

What’s great about this discovery is that sensory inhibition may be a learned protective habit, not something ingrained. As children, we are often told to sit quietly, behave, to show self-control, and so we end up losing touch with the visceral parts of ourselves. However, I don’t think this is inevitable; it’s cultural learning. So, it can be changed by further learning. Research shows that mindfulness or savoring training can help people reconnect with their sensory system. For instance, eight weeks of mindfulness practice creates more balance between the DMN and sensory regions of the brain.

There’s now very strong evidence that spending a few hours practicing each week over a couple of months can help with mental health issues such as depression. My own research shows that the less people inhibit sensation, the less depression they experience. When we’re stuck, the trick is not to keep thinking about how to get unstuck but to sense our way into new states of mind, getting unstuck by opening up to novel sensations and experiences. This is what the practice of “sense foraging” is all about.

JG: Has working in this area changed you personally in any way?

NF: Somewhat ironically, for someone known for his work on mindfulness, I was always skeptical of meditation. But when I found myself in a rut, I found that cognitively-oriented tactics, such as time management and other activities, didn’t work. Instead, what was effective was contemplative practices and more intense exercises like engaging in sports. These activities focused more on the body than the mind, and they were effective in helping me get unstuck and be more helpful to my students, less resentful, and less disagreeable. These more physically oriented activities allowed me to let go of mental programming and experience my life unfolding more fully.

Doing meditation and cycling has helped me reconnect with the world and feel happier. Based on my own experiences, I can say that reading Better in Every Sense won’t change people unless they take the chance to do something new, something that lets them get out of their heads and into their bodies. Hopefully, the book will inspire people to try something new. It doesn’t require anything big, just doing something new to stop mentally protecting yourself and get out of your unintentionally self-inflicted rut.

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JG: How might the lessons in the book help people live better lives?

NF: Flourishing is a balance between habit, which involves exploiting existing knowledge, and sensation, which involves exploring and learning new things. The essence of sense foraging is to correct an imbalance where habits have taken over—re-engaging with sensation to expand one's perspective.

Balance can be achieved in many ways: through mindfulness, time in nature, talking to others or otherwise seeking novelty where you don’t know how things will play out. To get concrete about this, I encourage people to think of a situation where they’re stuck. Things play out in the same unsatisfactory way all the time. The next time you’re in that situation, be a bit weird in what you pay attention to.

For instance, if you don’t get along with your boss and feel stuck in a rut at work, try paying attention to the sound of your boss’s voice, look at their facial expression and body language, and consider what happened to them earlier that day. You’re not looking for an answer. You’re looking for novelty. The signal you’re looking for is something that surprises you. Pay attention to different things. What are you not paying attention to? You don’t need to find the ‘right answer." You just need to be open to finding something overlooked. If we can really start to explore with our senses, especially in stressful situations, we can disengage defensive behavior that makes our reactions limited and negatively focused. I’m not saying to ignore obvious danger signs, but see if you can prepare to be safely surprised. Don’t stick to your recipe. When you’re not sure what to do, try focusing on sensing, not thinking.