The Surprising Power of a Partner's Touch

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It’s no secret that poor body image causes tremendous psychological distress for a large proportion of women.

Men certainly also struggle with body image concerns. However, studies show that as many as 40 percent of American women report being at least somewhat dissatisfied with their bodies, with 25 percent reporting that their body image concerns are so severe that they compromise their mental health.

A woman’s body image distress frequently inflicts damage on her romantic and intimate life as well, making it hard to feel mentally present and unselfconscious during sex.

The cause of poor body image for women seems both obvious and inevitable, given the intense sociocultural pressures women are up against. It’s hard to feel good when comparing one’s body to an endless stream of airbrushed images, all shot in perfect lighting or perhaps with a small dash of AI enhancement.

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Given the enormous prevalence and highly detrimental impact of many women’s poor body image issues, as well as their tendency to compromise sexual and relationship health, a new study asks a compelling question—can physical, affectionate touch from a woman’s partner help heal her body image issues? And by doing so, can it also heal the relationship and improve your sex life?

It’s well-documented that people are happier with their bodies if they feel like their romantic partner also appreciates them. However, most existing literature on body satisfaction in romantic relationships examines verbal communication between partners—those words of affirmation a partner may sometimes offer to signal appreciation.

However, studies find that despite their good intentions, words of reassurance often fail to deliver the desired effect. For a woman who hates her body, hearing, “Well, I think you’re beautiful,” feels kind but doesn’t always help.

Given the weak effect of verbal affirmations, researchers in the current study chose to look instead at the impact of behaviors, particularly the types of nonverbal messages specific to affectionate touch given or initiated by a partner, including hugs, cuddles, and kisses.

The authors reasoned that considering its physical nature, affectionate touch is potentially understood as a form of communication about one’s body. One that conveys an encouraging message from your partner about your body because the affection is directed toward your body.

In other words, the authors reasoned that when it comes to assuaging your partner’s body image concerns, perhaps actions speak louder than words…

Related research certainly hints at this claim. Studies do show, for example, that affectionate touch—behaviors that include hugging, hand-holding, kissing, and other forms of skin-to-skin contact intended to express affection—contributes to relationship initiation, maintenance, and stability, above and beyond the similar effect that’s found simply by spending time with one’s partner.

In other words, there’s something special about touch from our partner that’s meant to express fondness and emotion. It’s an expression of appreciation for your body that may at least feel more believable or dependable at a subconscious level than mere words.

Interestingly, the ability of physical touch to heal body image issues has been well-established outside the context of romantic relationships. For example, a retrospective study found that women who reported receiving less affectionate touch as children reported higher body dissatisfaction in adulthood (Gupta & Schork, 1995). In another study (Hart et al., 2001), a five-week massage therapy program successfully decreased body dissatisfaction in women with eating disorders.

The Study

Participants in the current study included 1,156 women between the ages of 18 and 72, all of whom reported being in a serious, committed relationship. The majority, but not all, were heterosexual (82.5 percent). Most (74.9 percent) were married, 15.3 percent were in a serious relationship but not engaged, and 9.7 percent were in a serious relationship and engaged. Around 76.6 percent reported having at least one child.

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Data was gathered via an online survey where women were asked to describe the frequency of affectionate touch they received from their partner, their feelings about their body, and their degree of sexual and relationship satisfaction.

More specifically, women were asked: “In general, how often do you and your partner engage in the following forms of intimacy?” They responded to this question regarding their hand-holding, caressing, massaging, cuddling, spooning, and kissing frequency.

Participants also responded to “How satisfied or dissatisfied are you with your...” and responded with their overall body, overall appearance, weight, and muscle tone or size satisfaction.”

Participants also completed the five-item Global Measure of Relationship Satisfaction (GMREL) and the five-item Global Measure of Sexual Satisfaction to assess explicit sexual satisfaction.

The Findings

First, the authors replicated previous findings showing that women who report higher body satisfaction enjoy more sexual and relationship satisfaction. Specifically, women with more positive feelings about their bodies tended to report putting more effort into relationship maintenance, report higher emotional closeness, including trust, and report more overall relationship satisfaction.

The study also found that women with healthier body image also feel more comfortable with their bodies during sex.

As predicted, the study found that women who received more frequent affectionate touch (in all forms) from their romantic partners also reported healthier body image and higher relationship and sexual satisfaction.

Finally, and critically, consistent with their hypothesis, the authors found that body satisfaction partially mediated the associations between affectionate touch and relationship and sexual satisfaction.

In other words, more frequent affectionate touch was associated with being happier in one’s relationship, and this was in part due to how powerful affectionate touch is as a tool for improving one’s partner’s body satisfaction.

Conclusion

Although the connection between body image and relationship outcomes is well-documented, this is the first study to suggest that affectionate touch, with its physical nature, is an effective tool for communicating appreciation for a partner’s body. Those feelings of appreciation can help heal that same partner’s body image issues.

In other words, hugs, cuddles, and kisses don’t just feel nice—they convey critical messages of encouragement or positivity about your partner’s body, in part because the affection is targeted specifically there.

The authors assert that although the study was correlational, the results nonetheless suggest that affectionate touch should be considered in therapeutic applications for partnered women who struggle with poor body image.

Because when it comes to body image, sometimes a hug, cuddle, or kiss truly speaks 1,000 words.