New Research on the Power of Synchronicity During Sex

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The feeling of synchronicity and unity during sex is a phenomenon that many long to experience in their own lovemaking. When it comes to heightening pleasure and satisfaction, sex therapists have long emphasized verbal communication (e.g., expressing desires and preferences). While interventions like these certainly play an important role in improving sexual satisfaction, they only go so far. A new study sheds light on the power of our unconscious reciprocal bodily cues.

Physiological synchronicity, or attunement as it’s more commonly known, refers to the coordination of bodily responses in close relationships. For instance, when one person’s heart rate slows, the other’s will, too. When one person's breathing quickens, the other's follows suit. This phenomenon happens more in close, intimate relationships than in unfamiliar ones. Studies have found evidence of physiological coordination in caregiver/infant relationships, therapist/client relationships, and between close friends, romantic partners, and even pets and pet owners.

There are grounded theories as to the benefits of physiological synchronicity. Prior research has found that physiological synchronicity correlates to empathy, feelings of closeness, and relational well-being. In other words, our relationships are enhanced when our bodies sync up with people we care about. Synchronicity improves our ability for compassion and emotional intimacy and makes it easier to anticipate the behavior and feelings of those in our inner circle.

Researchers have started paying closer attention to the nuances of this phenomenon in romantic relationships. Previous research has found couples with high levels of synchronicity are more likely to report feeling sexually satisfied, and physiological synchronicity has also found to be predictive of physical attraction. Interestingly, researchers have found that in romantically involved heterosexual couples, women's bodies are more likely to follow their male partner's lead. This is most likely due to differences in gender socialization.

Until recently, however, little was known about how our bodies coordinate during sexual activity. A recent study sheds light.

The researchers collected 58 heterosexual couples who had been in monogamous relationships for at least six months. On average, the couples in this study had been together for 3.5 years. The investigators sent each couple home with a device that measured their heart rate and heart rate variability. The couples were instructed to wear the equipment while completing a series of tasks.

1. Baseline task: The couple sat in separate rooms so that the researchers could measure their baseline autonomic rhythm within the environment.
2. Gazing task: The couple was instructed to sit and gaze at one another for five minutes without speaking.
3. Mirroring task: The couples were given vague instructions to mirror each other’s movements and attempt to synchronize.
4. Hand-holding task: The couple was instructed to hold hands for five minutes so that the researchers could isolate the effect of nonsexual touch.
5. Foreplay: The couple was instructed to engage in foreplay the way they normally would.
6. Prescribed position: The couple was told to engage in intercourse lying side by side, facing each other.
7. Free-form sex: The couples engaged in intercourse in whichever position they liked as long as they continued to face each other.

The Findings

The researchers found synchronicity, or attunement, occurred in each task except the baseline task and the prescribed position task, with significantly greater synchronicity occurring during sexual activity compared to the nonsexual tasks.

Implications

We know that the autonomic nervous system plays a role in sexual function. In a conversation with the study’s author, Bridget Freihart, I learned that women’s sexual arousal increases when the sympathetic nervous system is slightly activated. This contradicts the commonly held assumption that women need to feel fully relaxed for arousal to build. Since previous studies have found that women’s nervous system activity changes in correspondence to men’s—or, in other words, men set the tone—we could hypothesize that it is to women’s benefit to experience high physiological synchronicity during sex.

In a previous study, the authors found that relational synchrony positively correlates to sexual satisfaction and may facilitate the ability to respond effectively to changes in partners' emotional states. It can be reasonably assumed, therefore, that the correlation goes in the opposite direction, too—that greater attunement during sex deepens the degree to which we can respond to changes in our partner’s emotional cues.

To summarize, the authors hypothesize that synchrony during sex is important because it facilitates attunement, which helps couples relax, stay calm, and relish the relational and emotional components of the sexual experience. They also believe that the upregulation of the autonomic nervous system facilitates female sexual arousal.

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Couples can take a note from this study and, rather than getting lost in verbal communication exercises, see what transpires when they let their bodies do the talking.