Easing Individual and Endemic Fear

We are currently experiencing an enormous increase in societal polarization. This reality manifests as schisms between cultural and religious groups, like those for and against the right to have an abortion, or those for and against care for the underprivileged. The cultural tension manifests as strong discrimination against immigrants, foreigners, and anyone “other,” leaving many feeling a sense of increased anxiety, a lack of personal safety, dread of the unknown, and fear of imminent danger and threat.

One way to understand some of these behaviors and responses is through the lens of Terror Management Theory (TMT). TMT hypothesizes that as we attempt to protect ourselves from the unbearable awareness of our own mortality, which is ultimately what being threatened boils down to. Then we repress our fear of death by burying it deeply into our unconscious.

Another defense against an unconscious fear of annihilation is to identify more strongly with the dominant culture. We crave the status quo and lean into our seemingly solid institutions and values, whether they are corrupt or not. TMT tells us that because the dominant culture appears as something greater than us, something that will outlive us as individuals, it functions as symbolic immortality. This affords us some temporary protection from death awareness. In the process, we tend to pull back from anything or anyone who is different or unfamiliar. We may even end up denigrating and, if necessary, destroying what is perceived as a threat to what we are used to. These behaviors can lead to deep societal fragmentation, inhumane scapegoating, and rampant polarization.

What triggers some of these unconsciously driven defense mechanisms? What evokes in us a fear of eradication? One does not have to look far. Climate change is producing climate anxiety and climate related migration. Currently 100,000,000 refugees crisscross the globe. Many wars, famines, and the need to relocate are indirectly due to climate change. Nationally and worldwide, the influx of immigration is perceived as a huge threat. But besides immigration issues, there are many other shifts in our culture that threaten our sense of security. The COVID-19 pandemic sensitized us to feeling unsafe 24/7. And now we don’t have to look far for other triggers. Republicans in the U.S. feel that their way of life is potentially threatened by liberal values, and liberals feel that their culture is threatened by the enforcement of conservative rulings and risks to democracy. Could the cultural tension be one of the reasons why we are seeing a rise in more tribal behavior? On an individual level, could this be why we are witnessing a global increase in anxiety, depression, and suicide, especially in young people?

A powerful antidote to overcoming unconscious fear and its powerful alienating results is found in practices that provide a sense of deep inner security. These allow us to let down our guard and fill us with more peace and inner balance. From this place, we can meet others with more kindness and empathy, instead of alarm and distance. It is important that we consciously step onto a psychological and spiritual path that brings us an experience of our interdependence. Then we can make peace with ourselves and with others. As we relax from our preoccupation with our own individual safety into something more spacious, we can feel more at ease and trusting. This then evolves into the desire for more connection with others and solidifies more actions that can address the welfare of the world at large.

Mindful awareness practices can help us develop an inner sense of security. These practices, which derive from Theravada and Mahayana Buddhism, are now widely available as secular teachings in the West. The first of these is mindfulness, what author and teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn calls “moment-by-moment-non-judgmental-awareness.” Mindfulness helps us to focus our attention and allows us to find a place of internal calm. The second practice is awake awareness practice, which allows us to tap into the sense of the effortless, spacious ease that is already right here, even when unrecognized. This can be experienced when our awareness expands beyond our conceptual mind. Then this spacious knowing way of being becomes the perspective we can live from. These practices allow us to view our fear from a wider perspective and naturally empowers us to be more open-hearted. With various specific practices we can cultivate more kindness, compassion, generosity, gratitude, and forgiveness. As we lessen our reactivity and diffuse our fear, we build a greater capacity to love and are freer to contribute to active connection instead of defaulting to polarization and alienation.

Another set of practices that cultivates interpersonal peacemaking and fosters inner security is working with empathy circles. Edwin Rutsch, founder of the empathy circle work, builds on the active listening process developed by psychologist Carl Rogers. Rutsch tells us that empathizing with what is unfamiliar helps us to make a connection to the other. As we befriend the unknown, we neutralize and decrease our fear.

The empathy circle helps to increase mutual understanding and connection by ensuring that each person feels fully heard. Within a small group of four, five or six, a speaker and a listener are selected. After a few rounds, in which all group members become both speaker and active listener, this practice allows us to develop the capacity for non-judgmental presence. Participants become more understanding of themselves and one another and are able to express deep sustained empathy. This is especially useful and profound when listeners and speakers differ greatly in their views.

Through these processes, we can shed light on our once disavowed feelings of pain and anger and recognize our projection on what we have been regarding as the ‘enemy.' We humans want and need so many of the same things. Even with what seems like huge differences in our belief systems and behaviors, once we see and feel and hear our commonality, we can move toward shared goals. It is time to become interpersonal peacemakers. It helps to have made peace within ourselves at first. It is time to feel and express empathy and understanding towards what was once difficult to love and care about in others.