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Happiness

Embracing Averageness

It's OK to aspire for less than excellence.

Key points

  • Most people are average.
  • Learning to value being competent and adequate could be useful.
  • Adequate and excellent might be more similar than different.

When I was in graduate school, I had a job as a tutor for our first-year psychology courses, which I really enjoyed. Helping students work their way through the course material was a lot of fun and included marking the lab exercises and other assignments they had to complete. One day, the tutor at the desk next to me, who was marking his portion of assignments, blurted out in exasperation to no one in particular, “Oh! Why are so many students average?!” I can remember smiling to myself as I thought, “Because that’s what average is."

I’ve often pondered that brief event, and I continue to be puzzled about why “average” gets such a bad rap. Have you ever heard people say, “She’s just average”? Why is average seen as a less-than-desirable thing?

Why isn’t good enough, good enough?

Just for fun, I looked up synonyms for “average” on wordhippo.com. Words like “bland,” “mediocre,” “second-rate,” “nothing special,” “bog-standard,” and “not up to much” are offered. Are you puzzled by that? Why isn’t average OK?

abbphoto, Image ID: 135013022, @123RF
Source: abbphoto, Image ID: 135013022, @123RF

By definition, we can’t all be the best. Not at everything and not at anything all the time. Even those few who get to be the best at something are only the best momentarily. Records come and records go.

Sometime recently, I stumbled upon the idea that the world might be a fairer and kinder neighbourhood if we placed greater value on competence and adequacy. Why aren’t we encouraged to be satisfied with being competent? Why don’t we collectively commit to each of us accumulating adequate rather than preposterously extravagant savings?

Of course, we can acknowledge that our own individual standards for competence or adequacy will differ but competent doesn't have to mean excellent, and adequate is never surplus. And striving for excellence should not be demeaned if that’s what some people want to do, but perhaps we could learn to value competence just as highly. In fact, perhaps we could come to understand adequate and excellent as different notes of the same tune.

From a certain perspective, we were already excellent even before we drew our first breath. We arrived when our first cells got together and started their human-building tango. The process that is life itself is perhaps nature’s most astonishing and outstandingly excellent achievement. The accomplishments that individuals amass during this process are mere trinkets in comparison to the process itself.

When stuff began organizing itself into things that could be self-sustaining, environments were changed forever. The seemingly simple process of creating and maintaining stability in the midst of unrest is breathtakingly magnificent. Each of us is already a manifestation of nature at its very best. So, too, by the way, is a mangrove tree, a bumblebee bat, a cocker spaniel, a scorpion fly, a polar bear, and e. coli. Life is about keeping on keeping on. It’s about participating in whatever way makes sense to you.

So, by all means, strive for excellence if that’s what you like to do. Create the excellence that has meaning and value for you even if that particular version of excellence doesn’t meet the highest standards of others. And, if pushing the boundaries and reaching for the stars isn’t what makes your mind sparkle, that’s OK, too. Keeping your world in the state you like it to be in is as excellent as it gets.

Perhaps our most excellent feat will be finding that organisation of circumstances and conditions that allows people to experience the balance they seek without preventing others from doing the same. What a wonderfully adequate village that will be.

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