Tips on Using Your Body Language to Make a Better Impression

When I began studying body language, I realized how many people, myself included, are unaware of what their body language is communicating to others. Most body language “tells” are very ambiguous. Someone may be reading your “tell” and giving it a meaning that is totally wrong. Most often, the misreads lead to assumptions of deception, low self-confidence, or unfriendliness. What can we do to make it less likely that we are sending the wrong signals?

Think about what impression you want to give, and learn the signs which are consistent with that impression.

Are you trying to impress to be hired for a job? Are you hoping to show your interest or attraction with a date? Are you just trying to put someone else at ease so that you can get honest responses from them? Following are some tips for helpful body language for different purposes (in the context of Western cultures.)

Body language to practice for communicating confidence:

1. Good eye contact, but with natural breaks. The average eye contact with strangers lasts three seconds, with the time increasing as we become more familiar.
2. Avoid a stiff posture. Shoulders hunched up or a back held very straight suggests tension, which does not project confidence.
3. Walk with purpose, not too quickly or rushed.
4. Avoid putting your hands in your pockets and try to keep them visible.

Body language for indicating attraction or romantic interest:

1. Smile as often as possible, as long as it’s appropriate to the conversation. Women naturally smile more often than men, but men might make an extra effort on this when trying to express interest.
2. Mirror the movements of the other person. If they place their hands on a table, try to do that also. If they cross their legs, you might do the same. This is a classic way that any two people show attention and a wish to build a sense of connection.
3. Lean toward the person when in conversation. Women do this more naturally than men, but men might decide to mirror this behavior when they see it.
4. Maintain longer eye contact, beyond the standard three-second span.

Body language to facilitate friendliness and openness:

1. Smile frequently as it fits the conversation.
2. Keep your hands visible and palms open. We instinctively react to the closed or hidden hand as if it might hold a threat. Palms open and vertical or upward-facing are perceived as friendlier than closed palms.
3. Avoid placing objects between yourself and the other person. This includes electronics, coffee cups, glasses, etc. Try to place these objects slightly to your right or left side, and not directly between you and them. Placing too many objects between two people is considered to be setting barriers in order to keep a safe distance.
4. Avoid crossing your arms. This posture can be read in several different ways. It is often a comfortable pose and might even suggest authority or confidence. However, it can be a self-comforting posture to relieve anxiety. It can also be seen as a sign of defensiveness or unfriendliness.

Final Thoughts

If used correctly, body language can be a powerful tool for communicating friendliness, interest, and confidence. Of course, it can also be easily misperceived if we feel tense or apprehensive. The more we know about what our body language suggests to others, the better we can use it to manage the impressions we make.