Jerkology

Narcissism

Are They Smart or Just Smart Asses?

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on April 12, 2024

They have an answer for everything. How can you tell whether they're a know-it-all jerk? And wouldn't it be easier to just assume they are?

They have an answer for everything. How can you tell whether they're a know-it-all jerk? And wouldn't it be easier to just assume they are?

Confidence

Truce Abuse: The Wrong and Right Way to End Your Fight

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on March 29, 2024

Sometimes playing nice isn't nice. It's a passive-aggressive way to virtue signal and pull moral rank in the middle of a fight.

Sometimes playing nice isn't nice. It's a passive-aggressive way to virtue signal and pull moral rank in the middle of a fight.

Narcissism

How People Become Narcissists

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on March 25, 2024

Not making it in this world? Make up a world where you can do anything and whatever you do is heroic and perfect.

Not making it in this world? Make up a world where you can do anything and whatever you do is heroic and perfect.

Bullying

Six Signs That You're Dealing With a Gentle Bully

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on March 24, 2024

Gentle, moralizing bullying on the rise. Here's how you can tell if you're being bullied by it before it's too late.

Gentle, moralizing bullying on the rise. Here's how you can tell if you're being bullied by it before it's too late.

Ethics and Morality

Eight Simple Ways to Bully-Proof Your Healthy Conscience

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on March 6, 2024

Your biggest vulnerability to bullying is your active healthy conscience. Here's how to maintain it without being bullied by shameless moralizing scolds.

Your biggest vulnerability to bullying is your active healthy conscience. Here's how to maintain it without being bullied by shameless moralizing scolds.

Cognition

Resolving the Integrity Paradox

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on January 29, 2024

Since a total hypocrite who consistently believes what feels good and denies what feels bad has a kind of integrity, it's time to rethink what integrity means.

Since a total hypocrite who consistently believes what feels good and denies what feels bad has a kind of integrity, it's time to rethink what integrity means.

Wisdom

What Is the Opposite of Wisdom?

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on October 2, 2023

If you're dealing with a narcissist, you need to read between the lines to their simple robotic formula. Here it is.

If you're dealing with a narcissist, you need to read between the lines to their simple robotic formula. Here it is.

Unconscious

Your Inner Weasel: An Owners Guide

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on August 15, 2023

You wouldn't be alive without your inner weasel, which is also your responsibility to manage.

You wouldn't be alive without your inner weasel, which is also your responsibility to manage.

Ethics and Morality

The Personal Harm in Putting Others Down (Morality Aside)

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on August 10, 2023

Setting aside morality for a moment, an honest assessment of the benefits and costs of saying "Eww, I'd never want to be like them."

Setting aside morality for a moment, an honest assessment of the benefits and costs of saying "Eww, I'd never want to be like them."

Ethics and Morality

How Narcissists Reassure Their Conscience

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on August 9, 2023

Ironically, narcissists can't look at themselves. Here's how they pull off that total lack of self-awareness.

Ironically, narcissists can't look at themselves. Here's how they pull off that total lack of self-awareness.

Anxiety

How to Never Again Feel Doubt, Shame, Guilt, or Anxiety

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on July 16, 2023

If you don't want to be an absolutist jerk, expect some cognitive dissonance. If you can't tolerate it, indulge in absolutism at everyone's expense.

If you don't want to be an absolutist jerk, expect some cognitive dissonance. If you can't tolerate it, indulge in absolutism at everyone's expense.

Cognition

To Combat Absolutism, Scientists Must Explain Life

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on June 29, 2023

The burden is on science to explain how the struggle for existence emerges from chemistry. Until they do, know-it-all absolutists will hold sway.

The burden is on science to explain how the struggle for existence emerges from chemistry. Until they do, know-it-all absolutists will hold sway.

Gaslighting

Humankind's Greatest Threat Is SOBs—Same Old BSers

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on June 28, 2023

Having trouble focusing your anxiety about humankind's future? Here's a suggestion for the root cause that must be rooted out as best we can.

Having trouble focusing your anxiety about humankind's future? Here's a suggestion for the root cause that must be rooted out as best we can.

Artificial Intelligence

Worried About AI? Worry More About Human Robot-Envy

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on June 27, 2023

Artificial intelligence corners us with what's different about being a living human, and how to be one safely and sanely, grounded in reality while enjoying healthy escapism.

Artificial intelligence corners us with what's different about being a living human, and how to be one safely and sanely, grounded in reality while enjoying healthy escapism.

Confidence

What Is the Basic Human Need that Influencers Feed?

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on June 16, 2023

In uncertain times like ours, people crave poses they can adopt for credibility, confidence, and status.

In uncertain times like ours, people crave poses they can adopt for credibility, confidence, and status.

Narcissism

How to Not Be Defensive with Narcissists and Everyone

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on January 31, 2023

To stop feeling and being defensive, stop thinking of behaviors as either good or bad, stop denying that you use them, and shift your attention to when to use them.

To stop feeling and being defensive, stop thinking of behaviors as either good or bad, stop denying that you use them, and shift your attention to when to use them.

Relationships

Five Tips for Managing Virtue Signaling

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on January 5, 2023

It's therapeutic to sing our own praises with virtue signals. It's also dangerous when it goes to our heads. Here are four ways to virtue-signal safely.

It's therapeutic to sing our own praises with virtue signals. It's also dangerous when it goes to our heads. Here are four ways to virtue-signal safely.

Narcissism

How to Outsmart a Narcissist

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on December 31, 2022

If you haven't been able to get through to a narcissist, try this different approach.

If you haven't been able to get through to a narcissist, try this different approach.

Leadership

How to Deal with a Know-It-All

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on December 23, 2022

Here's an alternative to humoring, avoiding or escaping a know-it-all that's respectful, easy, and effective.

Here's an alternative to humoring, avoiding or escaping a know-it-all that's respectful, easy, and effective.

Narcissism

The Narcissist Formula: You Get to Choose How You Lose

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D. on December 13, 2022

Narcissists use double binds to invite you to play games that they always win. Winning means they never have to look at their own behavior.

Narcissists use double binds to invite you to play games that they always win. Winning means they never have to look at their own behavior.