Skip to main content

Verified by Psychology Today

Trauma

"Braving the Way" Through Healing From Trauma

Personal Perspective: Your story matters.

When I think about being brave, I think about an image of a superhero. However, what I think is not accurately represented in our culture is how much bravery and courage it takes to be honest and truthful about who you are. To lovingly step into your authentic self is no easy feat, and if you want to add talking about your mental health journey and sharing your experience working through trauma, this is a whole next level of bravery. I know because in the last year I have done it. Willingly and anxiously because we all need to hear messages of hope and inspiration from each other. So that we can all be reminded that we are not alone.

We need to normalize talking about mental health. Most, if not all of it comes down to talking about our feelings. Wouldn’t it be so refreshing if you could tell someone you were struggling with something—let's say anxiety for example—and they could validate your experience without trying to fix it and without it being anxiety-provoking itself to tell someone? There is nothing more disheartening than to finally get the courage to tell someone how you feel and then for them to ignore it, try and fix it, or even worse, invalidate it or punish you in some way for saying it.

How lovely it could be if we all took an active part in creating emotional safety for others to share their thoughts and feelings and we all were seen, heard, and validated in our experiences. Being brave does not mean being comfortable, but I wish it did not have to be seen as being brave when we open up and share, especially about our mental health. Yet the reality is it is brave, it is uncomfortable, and I have personally found it to be worth it. I feel finally feel free to be me—all of me.

I needed role models though to look up to, though, before I ever dared tell the world I live with dissociative identity disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder (MPD).

I am so glad there have been brave voices that paved the way for me. I hope to continue to "brave the way" by speaking up and being honest about my own mental health and history of trauma so that I can be the pillar of hope that I once needed for someone else.

Remaining silent nearly killed me. Being told as a child while being trafficked that if I broke silence they (my abusers) would kill me was a lot to overcome. So, I understand that only you will know when and if you will ever share your story. I just want people to know it is possible, brave, and hard. Our stories matter—our experiences, lives, lessons, mistakes, failures, triumphs, identities—all of it matters.

Those who shared their story before I shared mine will always be the ones I’ll be grateful to for opening the door to a whole new world and showing me what it truly means to embrace my authentic self. For me, this means embracing all my dissociative identities that make up who I am as a whole.

We need to be mindful of our judgments and our opinions when people are taking a vulnerability risk. We can listen, honor, respect, and validate other humans without judgment and harsh criticism of who they are and how they are going about it. It's not fair to judge and criticize someone for doing something so vulnerable.

For me, it was a sign of true healing when I no longer projected my hurt and anger onto others and could lovingly accept all of myself. I was then able to lovingly accept others for who they were.

The path to healing really does start on the inside. I did not want to believe that at the beginning of the journey, though. It was much easier to make it about everyone else instead of looking within and living in reality about what happened to me. It was brave of me to look deep within, but I am so glad I did, and now I want to share what I have learned so that others can brave the way for themselves on their own healing journey.

May we brave the way together so that no one has to live in shame and silence, and so that all feel free to be and embrace all of who they are.

Let us brave the way together.

The information shared in this blog is not a substitute for therapy or any other form of professional mental health or medical care. It also does not constitute a doctor/patient relationship with Dr. Fletcher. The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only. If you are experiencing a crisis or need help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

advertisement
More from Adrian "Adrienne" Fletcher Psy.D., M.A.
More from Psychology Today
More from Adrian "Adrienne" Fletcher Psy.D., M.A.
More from Psychology Today