5 Ways We Can Help Youth Cope With an Anti-LGBTQ Climate

October is LGTBQ History Month. Unfortunately, the past three years will go down in history as a giant step backward for LGBTQ civil rights, as hundreds of anti-LGTBQ laws have been introduced in state legislatures across the United States. Many of these laws ban gender-affirming health care for transgender youth and restrict LGBTQ-affirming school policies.

This legislation attempts to interfere with gold standards of medical care, strip LGTBQ people of their civil rights, and create school climates that are hostile to LGBTQ students. Even when laws attempt to solve problems that don’t exist, they are insulting and still do harm by sowing misinformation, fear, hatred, and divisiveness. In fact, the Department of Homeland Security reports a corresponding uptick in threats, calls for violence, and LGTBQ hate crimes, which adds to the sense of danger. And in nationwide surveys by the Trevor Project, the majority of LGTBQ youth report feeling increasingly depressed, anxious, or suicidal.

If you are the parent, relative, teacher, physician, or mentor of a child or teen who identifies as LGTBQ, you may be particularly concerned about anti-LGTBQ laws and the hostile climate they create and reflect. Tweens and teenagers in particular are more likely than younger children to have access to news and social media, making them more aware of school restrictions; this age group is also more affected by health care legislation. But your understanding and compassion can make a difference. Trevor Project surveys also show that LGTBQ youth report better mental health when they feel seen, heard, affirmed, and supported.

Following are five conversations you can have with LGTBQ youth to help them gain a more balanced perspective and hopeful outlook. Note that these conversations can be had with any youngster who is concerned about this hostile climate and its effects on LGTBQ friends and schoolmates.

1. Be smart consumers of news.

Because our brains are wired to attend more to threats than to safety, the news media make more money reporting bad news than good news. As such, news stories tend to focus on the most tragic hate crimes, the worst legislation, people’s greatest fears, and projecting the most dire consequences, which may or may not happen. Social media also creates clickbait, in the form of alarming headlines to grab people’s attention. “Broad and nuanced representation of LGBTQ stories, good and bad, is needed now more than ever,” urges Robert Conner, a media expert who authored guidelines on how corporations can communicate advocacy during June’s Pride Month. “Diverse LGBTQ children want to see themselves in the news and on their favorite shows. And they should feel inspired by more uplifting stories, and not just be exposed to ones that end with death.” Also remind kids that focusing on the positive can help them counteract their brains’ natural emphasis on the negative.

2. Look at the big picture.

During 2023 alone, more than 500 anti-LGTBQ laws have been introduced in state legislatures, but the vast majority were defeated; only 77 were signed into law. This means that a majority of politicians—even conservative ones—stand up for LGBTQ rights to at least some extent. Even more encouraging, some of these enacted laws have been blocked by federal courts across the country.

3. Read the fine print.

Some laws have common-sense clauses that keep them from being so damaging. For example, parental notification laws can certainly discourage authentic expression and healthy assertiveness. But a section in Florida law that supposedly requires teachers to notify parents of a child’s gender dysmorphia or sexual orientation actually specifies that parents must be kept informed about “mental, emotional, or physical health or well-being...unless a reasonably prudent person would believe that such disclosure would result in abuse, abandonment, or neglect.” This means that educators can continue to use their professional judgment when identifying struggling students, and after gauging parents’ attitudes, they can still act in the child’s best interests and support families accordingly. In addition, educators can still be supportive influences. “The political climate sends a steady message of hate to LGBTQ children, but 'don’t say gay' laws don’t bar teachers from being out and proud and serving as role models. I hope many LGBTQ+ teachers can still positively help students, despite the horrible circumstances,” says Conner.

4. Focus on the positive.

While the legal picture may look bleak, you can talk about how the pushback has been swift and hard. For example:

• Federal courts have already blocked laws restricting medical care and drag performances, as they are unconstitutional and clear violations of civil rights, due process, and free speech. Many other anti-LGTBQ laws will have their day in court as well.
• Anti-LGTBQ laws are motivating healthcare professionals, educators, parents, and students to advocate even more for LGBTQ rights. For example, laws that restrict LGTBQ topics in school are serving to underscore the fact that the vast majority of schools do not teach LGBTQ history and, as a result, educators are becoming inspired to address this inequity.
• Legislation is galvanizing people into political action. For example, medical associations are publishing LGTBQ-positive position statements, and in Virginia Beach, a group of high-school students attended school board meetings for months, successfully advocating for transgender and nonbinary students at their schools and pushing back on anti-LGBTQ policy proposals.
• The anti-LGBTQ movement is actually building greater awareness of LGBTQ issues, compelling people to clarify their thinking and increasing understanding, compassion, and acceptance. For example, research on gender-affirming care has become a hot topic, and more people are hearing about the real challenges of living with gender dysmorphia and the benefits of treatment.
• Civil rights organizations are calling out groups that endorse anti-LGTBQ legislation, such as Moms for Liberty, identifying them as “extremist” and “hate groups.”

In other words, society may be taking a step backward, but, as always, regression is a precursor to progress, and two steps forward are in the making.

5. Commemorate LGTBQ History Month.

You can discuss the benefits of schools honoring LGTBQ History Month. Conner points out that an August 2023 Human Rights Campaign survey showed that only 13.8 percent of LGBTQ students ever had a classroom lesson on LGBTQ history. Conner adds, “They take it upon themselves to learn their history, largely through the internet. While TikTok might occasionally have good resources on LGBTQ History, LGBTHistoryMonth.com has a whole archive of biographies of LGBTQ icons.” Indeed, if schools can responsibly add LGBTQ history to their curriculum, they can guide students toward high-quality sources of information.

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Yes, these are challenging, frightening times. But having these supportive private conversations with your LGTBQ kids, students, or patients is still good practice, and makes a real difference to them. You can provide timely support by encouraging them to seek out positive news stories and other evidence of advocacy, including celebrations and acknowledgments of LGTBQ History Month.