Setting New Year's Resolutions When Burnt Out

This time of year brings about reflection of what has been and hope for a better tomorrow. For those who are burnt out or suspect they are, you may be setting a course to support your well-being more in 2024. This may be a daunting task that doesn’t feel possible right now. This isn’t surprising because, with the exhaustion that comes with being burnt out, one’s motivation to engage in the behaviours to achieve one's well-being goals may be in limited supply. Below are eight steps designed to help set you up for success.

Step 1: Connect to values

Values are the desired qualities of one’s behaviours. Knowing and connecting to our values helps us to provide a long-lasting motivation to stick to our goals and get back on track if we’ve slipped.

To identify your values, ask yourself: What am I standing for in the face of this goal? How is this important to me? How would taking this action add to my life?

Example: My choice to engage in journaling was linked to my value of being authentic and aware of myself to help me toward burnout recovery.

Step 2: Plan

We often fail to reach our goals because we fail to plan wisely in the first place. To plan effectively, set S.M.A.R.T. goals:

S = Specific

What specific actions will you take?

Example: Write in my journal at least weekly.

M = Meaningful

How is this linked to your values (see step 1)?

A = Adaptive

How will this action enhance your life?

Example: Recover from burnout, which will help me return to work and improve my relationships.

R = Realistic

Is this goal realistic considering the current climate you find yourself in (e.g., energy, time available, etc.)?

T = Time frame

When will you do what is needed to achieve the goal?

Example: Start straight away. The goal is to be achieved within a couple of months to allow the practice to become routine.

Step 3: Practice self-compassion

So often, we are critical of ourselves for not meeting our goals and sometimes fall into the trap of self-criticism. When we are fused with self-criticalness, we often feel despair, disappointment, depression, and disgust. Research has indicated that a more powerful motivator is compassion.

Compassion is when we meet our failures with acceptance, understanding, and resolution—that is, we accept that we have slipped, understand that everyone falls, confront the costs of our actions, and look at ways to improve on this to avoid failing again.

Example: In those moments, I failed to write in my journal. I chose not to see this as a character flaw but as a chance to review what is no longer working. One time, I changed my journaling time to after my morning walk when I felt more energised to engage in the practice.

Step 4: Know your mind

What thoughts run through your mind when you set goals, work toward them, or deal with setbacks on the way to achieving them? Do you notice your mind telling you any of the following when in the pursuit of your goals:

• Reasons not to take action (e.g., “I don’t have the time.”)
• Expectations on what you should be doing (e.g., “I should write in my journal today.”)
• Judgments for not achieving (e.g., “I am lazy.”)
• Comparisons to others (e.g., “Others engage daily with this practice. Why can’t I?”)

When our minds hook us into these thoughts, they can lead us away from achieving our goals. They often do so because they drive an emotional climate that drains our energy.

We can’t control having these thoughts, but we can become aware of them and check whether they are helping us pursue our goals: Are my thoughts helping me toward what matters (i.e., your values) or away?

You can also unhook from these thoughts when they arise by using a labeling technique: “There are my reason-giving thoughts” or “There are my judgment thoughts.” Simply labeling our thoughts gives us enough separation to focus on putting our energy into action toward our goals rather than ruminating on unhelpful thoughts.

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Step 5: Overcome obstacles

Ask yourself what might get in the way and look at solutions to work around this. Two significant obstacles often reported are time and energy. To address these obstacles, you will need to do some shifting of priorities before setting your goal. What might you have to give up, do less of, or say no to achieve what matters in your life? You are not a superhero, so you won’t be able to do everything at once.

Step 6: Accept discomfort

Change can be exciting, especially when it is something we want and know will bring richness to our lives. However, it will also be uncomfortable at times. You may experience boredom, anxiety, urges, fatigue, etc. We don’t get to choose whether we are uncomfortable, so we must learn how to be with and accept.

A simple way to do this is to remind yourself of the value behind this pursuit by writing a willingness statement.

Example: I am willing to accept the discomfort of getting in touch with my feelings while writing in my journal to serve my values of authenticity and self-awareness. This will help me achieve my burnout recovery and improved functioning at work and in relationship goals.

Step 7: Get support

We are not meant to do it alone, but not everyone can be the support we need, so ask yourself, What kind of support do I need? Often, we need someone willing to listen and offer encouragement. We may also need someone to provide us with the knowledge and skills to achieve our goals.

Step 8: Use routine and reminders

When establishing a new behaviour, it will not be automatic to get up and do it. It takes time, commitment, and consistency. To help make your new habit automatic, schedule it into your diary and set reminders on your phone.

There you have it. I hope this helps you toward success with your 2024 well-being goals. Like always, please seek professional help for your burnout and know that it is OK if you do; I did.

Take care of you.