Why ‘Lucky Girls’ Don’t Wish Upon a Star

Source: Adobe Stock | Drobot Dean

Many individuals grapple with the challenges of achieving their dreams and aspirations. A common thread in these struggles appears to be the "lucky girl syndrome," which started to take over this time last year. And with new year planning, resolutions, and goal-setting, it is emerging in a re-branded fashion as visualization and vision boards.

Although a positive step in the right direction, the "lucky girl" aspect of visualization and a positive attitude need to be followed by taking action, trusting your instincts, practicing resilience, staying open-minded and curious, and being authentic to yourself.

What Is Lucky Girl Syndrome?

Lucky girl syndrome is neither a syndrome nor a diagnosis but a variation of the concept popularized by 2006’s The Secret, incorporating cultural references to “manifestation," laws of attraction, and assumption. It is a term coined to refer to the mindset in which individuals overly rely on luck, wishes, or visualization to achieve their goals, bypassing the necessary steps of planning and execution.

Unaccompanied by action, this mindset often creates a disconnect between reality and the dream, which could lead to procrastination, lack of motivation, or even failure to reach the intended goals.⁶

The Power of Visualization and Positive Thinking

It’s crucial to acknowledge the positive mindset of the lucky girl syndrome. The power of visualization and positive thinking go hand-in-hand in goal attainment and can offer significant benefits. Several studies have demonstrated that visualizing desired outcomes can enhance motivation, boost confidence, and even improve physical performance.²

Positive thinking has been scientifically shown to contribute to improved health, higher resilience, and increased life satisfaction.¹³ It can help manage stress, foster a proactive attitude, and even bolster the immune system.⁹ Similarly, a positive mindset can influence how we perceive and respond to challenges, helping us navigate obstacles more effectively and maintain our motivation.³

Visualization, specifically, has been widely used in sports psychology to enhance performance.² Athletes often visualize successful outcomes as part of their training, reinforcing neural pathways in the brain akin to physical practice. This doesn’t replace physical training but complements it, strengthening the connection between mind and body.

Nevertheless, Scott Bea, a clinical psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic, notes that it’s crucial to balance positive thinking with an understanding of reality.¹ The ideal is grounded optimism, where individuals maintain a hopeful outlook while acknowledging the effort and action required to realize their dreams.

Understanding the Limitations of Visualization

While the allure of the "lucky girl syndrome" can be captivating, it's crucial to recognize the limitations of relying solely on visualization. Visualization is akin to a blueprint, necessary for building, but without the actual construction work to accompany it, can lead to several counterproductive outcomes:

• False Security: Visualization alone may create an illusion of progress leading individuals to believe that they are closer to their goals than they actually are. This perceived progress can, paradoxically, demotivate individuals from taking the necessary steps toward their goals,¹¹ resulting in a problematic cycle of wishful thinking, inactivity, and unfulfilled dreams.
• Procrastination and Inaction: Research shows that merely fantasizing about successful outcomes can lead to reduced effort, procrastination, and lower chances of achieving goals.¹⁰ By continuously visualizing and dreaming about success without corresponding action, individuals might delay starting the necessary work, leading to persistent avoidance behavior.¹⁴
• Deceptive Comfort and Disappointment: Relying solely on visualization can result in heightened disappointment and self-doubt when the expected results do not materialize. This can potentially harm self-esteem and create a negative spiral of self-criticism and demotivation.⁷

These negative outcomes can not only hinder individual progress toward goals but also adversely affect overall mental well-being. Although visualization is a valuable tool for enhancing motivation and setting a vision it should be a complement for action, not a replacement.

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Studies show that individuals who break down their goals into smaller tasks and milestones are more likely to be successful than those who don’t.⁴

This process of breaking down goals into smaller, achievable steps has been recognized as a crucial part of effective goal-setting. This process, also known as “goal decomposition,” helps transform the abstract and often overwhelming vision into actionable tasks, thus reducing procrastination and enhancing motivation.⁸

1. Write it down. This is your big dream or ultimate ambition. Make it S.M.A.R.T.: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.⁴
2. Break it down. Split up your goal into smaller tasks or sub-goals. These should be clear, manageable actions that step-by-step lead you toward the bigger picture.
3. Create a timeline. Set a realistic timeline for each sub-goal, providing a clear path and timeframe for achieving the overall goal.
4. Take action. Begin with the first task and work your way through your list. Remember, it’s not about rushing to the end; it’s about steady progress.
5. Review and adjust. Regularly review your progress, celebrate wins, even small ones, and make adjustments if necessary.

This practice promotes a realistic understanding of what it takes to achieve a goal and allows for the tracking of progress, with the completion of tasks serving as a motivating factor to continue and persist.

Focus on Persistence

Another supporting element is the essence of persistence. A prime example is Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple Inc. All controversy aside, he embodied the spirit of persistence and hard work. Jobs famously said, “I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.”¹² This statement underscores the importance of tenacity, resilience, and perseverance, rather than relying on luck or wishful thinking.

Jobs’ philosophy aligns with research demonstrating that perseverance and grit are more reliable predictors of success than intelligence or talent.⁵ It is the unyielding commitment to goals, even in the face of setbacks, that sets successful individuals apart. This mindset allows individuals to continue progressing, one step at a time, without being deterred by challenges or delays.

“Luck Is What Happens When Preparation Meets Opportunity”

This quote by Seneca, a Roman philosopher, provides a powerful reverse perspective. It suggests that ‘luck’ is not merely a product of chance or wishful thinking. Instead, it arises when preparation—through careful planning, goal setting, and execution—is met with opportunities.

Luck isn’t a mystical force that grants our wishes. Instead, it is the outcome of our efforts, the preparation we’ve made, and the actions we’ve taken. By recognizing this, we not only separate ourselves from the pitfalls of visualization but also empower ourselves to create our own "luck" by being strategic, intentional, and diligent.