Whose Friendship Circles Are the Most Insular?

What do our circles of close friends look like? Are they a diverse set of people who are not all the same as us in their gender, age, ethnicity, and other characteristics? Or are our friendship groups more insular, with nearly all of our close friends similar to us?

Researchers at the Pew Research Center recently reported the striking finding that far more adults in the U.S. think that having close friends is key to a fulfilling life—61%, compared to just 34% who say the same thing about being married (discussed here at Living Single). They followed that up with a closer look at the friendships of a national sample of more than 5,000 adults in the U.S. With regard to diversity vs. insularity, the research addressed two dimensions: race or ethnicity, and gender.

Are Our Close Friends Mostly of the Same Ethnicity or Race?

Averaged across all of the adults who participated in the research, about two-thirds (66%) said that all or most of their close friends were of the same race or ethnicity. But that differed markedly by race and ethnicity. People racialized as white were the most insular: 70% said that all or most of their friends were also white. Hispanics had the most diverse circles of friends; fewer than half (47%) said that all or most of their friends were Hispanic.

Here are the results for four groups.

Percent who said that all or most of their close friends are the same race or ethnicity as them:

• 70% White.
• 62% Black.
• 52% Asian.
• 47% Hispanic.

There were also big differences by age. The youngest adults were, by far, the least likely to have close friends who were mostly all the same race or ethnicity as they were: just over half (53%) said that was true for them. In contrast, 70% of people 65 and older said that their circles of close friends were nearly all the same race or ethnicity as them.

Here are the results for four age groups.

Percent who said that all or most of their close friends are the same race or ethnicity as them:

• 53% ages 18-29.
• 62% ages 30-49.
• 63% ages 50-64.
• 70% ages 65 and older.

We can’t know, just from this research, whether that tells us something about age or about societal changes over time. If it is about age (older people’s friendship circles are more insular), then when today’s young adults grow old, they will become more insular, too. But if it is instead about how friendships in the U.S. are becoming more diverse over time, then when today’s adults grow older, they are likely to continue to have diverse circles of friends.

Are Our Close Friends Mostly of the Same Gender?

Averaged across all of the adults who participated in the research, about two-thirds (66%) said that all or most of their close friends were the same gender as them. Women were especially likely to have mostly other women as close friends.

Percent who said that all or most of their close friends are the same gender as them:

• 71% women.
• 61% men.

Again, though, age mattered a lot. Younger adults were more likely than older people to have close friends who were not the same gender.

Percent who said that all or most of their close friends are the same gender as them:

Younger adults (under 50)

• 67% women.
• 63% men.

Older adults (50 and older)

• 74% women.
• 59% men.

What those results for the older people are showing is that when older people have close friends, those friends are often women. For women, about three-quarters say that all or nearly all of their close friends are other women. Even among the men, about 4 in 10 say that all or most of their close friends are women.

Single at heart

I have suggestive evidence, from the life stories shared with me, that people who are single at heart are more likely to have friendships with people of other genders than those who are not single at heart. As I explained in Single at Heart, “If deep down you just aren’t all that interested in long-term romantic coupling, then the world does not sort itself into potential romantic partners and potential platonic friends. Everyone is a potential friend, and their gender, gender identity, or sexual orientation simply doesn’t matter.”

What About Other Characteristics?

I wish the researchers had also asked about marital or romantic relationship status and whether the adults were parents or not. Are coupled people mostly friends with other coupled people (and singles with single people) and are people who are parents mostly friends with other people who are parents (and people who are not parents with other people who are not parents)?

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Unfortunately, the Pew survey did not address those questions. One hint comes from a study that included only couples (discussed here at Living Single). That study found that couples tend to befriend other couples; single people get sidelined.

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