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Parenting

How the Parental Brain Develops

Learn how the brain prepares parents to care for a baby.

Key points

  • Neurobiological, psychological, and social changes from pregnancy to postpartum help people to become sensitive parents.
  • Both mothers and fathers can experience neurobiological changes associated with becoming a parent.
  • Stress and depression can interfere with how parents bond with babies during the transition to parenthood, but interventions can help.
Jenalee Doom
My first day as a mom!
Source: Jenalee Doom

This past summer, I became a mother. Although I was too tired from hours of labor to really process the moment the medical staff put my daughter on my chest, I knew something special had just happened. In the days that followed, I found it fascinating how quickly my thoughts and actions automatically revolved around this tiny human I had just met. I was even startled from sleep and instantly jumped out of bed after having a dream that my daughter was falling out of bed, even though she was safely asleep in her bassinet. I found it incredible that after only a few days, this new little girl was already featured in my dreams, and my brain seemed specialized to act quickly to protect her. As a scientist, I knew that neurobiological, psychological, and social processes had prepared my brain for this transition to parenthood, so I looked to the science on the parental brain to learn more.

Luckily for me, one of the leaders in studying the parental brain and the transition to parenthood is a professor in my own department at the University of Denver, Dr. Pilyoung Kim. Some of her original research and reviews on this topic are included below.

Examining the parental brain

Mothers show many changes in their brains during pregnancy and the early postpartum period. These changes allow for mothers to be more sensitive to their baby and to look out for potential threats to their baby. These changes are designed to allow mothers to bond with and care for their own baby specifically. For example, mothers actually show greater activity in their brains when looking at pictures of their baby smiling compared to other babies smiling (Kim, 2016). They also show greater brain activity when they listen to their own baby crying versus other babies crying. These findings may contribute to the strong urge mothers may feel to soothe their baby when they are crying, and also to the sense of joy when looking at their baby’s smile. How much mothers' brains respond to their own baby’s cry has also been associated with how sensitive their parenting behavior is and their understanding of their baby’s mental state (Kim, 2016).

There is also evidence that fathers’ brains change during the transition to parenthood, with increases in the brain’s gray matter found in areas of the brain associated with parental motivation and decreases in gray matter in other areas (Kim et al, 2014). These changes could lead to changes in paternal mental health or parenting behaviors. As a result, the biological changes associated with pregnancy and childbirth are not the only drivers of changes in the parental brain. If that were the case, we would only see changes in the parent who gave birth to the baby. Instead, parenting itself may be driving these changes.

The process of synchrony

The interactions between caregivers and babies can shape how we bond with our babies, and this bonding involves complex neurobiological processes involving new connections in the brain and the coordination of many hormones. Although we often think about how we shape our child’s development, it is true that our brains are also being shaped by our experiences with our baby, which should ideally optimize our ability to parent that particular child. These ongoing interactions between the parent and baby are termed “synchrony,” which involve coordination of behaviors and biology between caregiver and baby (Feldman, 2015).

This ongoing process of synchrony affects our relationship with the baby and is thought to be central to our brain’s changes in response to parenting. For example, interactions with your baby, where they smile and you smile back, or you laugh and they laugh in response, are examples of behavioral synchrony. When you hold your baby and you each are able to relax and feel a sense of calm, that is an example of synchrony where your biology is being affected by one another and synced. These experiences can lay the groundwork for a sensitive, caring relationship with your child that will shape both of your brains,

Although there are processes that guide the transition to parenthood, it is important to point out that the transition affects everyone differently. You may not feel an instant sense of connection with your baby, and that’s OK. It can take a while to process the experiences of pregnancy, labor, delivery, and caring for a new baby, which can be complicated by sleep deprivation and hormonal changes.

There is growing evidence that past or current experiences of severe stress are associated with changes in the parental brain that can affect how we respond to our infant as well as our ability to manage our own emotions (Kim, 2021). Postpartum depression can also interfere with your ability to develop synchrony or a positive relationship with your baby. The bright side is that interventions that reduce levels of stress or depression might reverse these negative outcomes in the brain and may improve your ability to connect with your baby.

Postpartum resources

If you are struggling to connect with your baby or experiencing strong negative emotions, it is important to talk to loved ones about what you’re experiencing and reach out for help if you need it. Here are some postpartum resources:

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.

References

Feldman, R. (2015). The adaptive human parental brain: implications for children's social development. Trends in neurosciences, 38(6), 387-399.

Kim, P. (2016). Human maternal brain plasticity: adaptation to parenting. New directions for child and adolescent development, 2016(153), 47-58.

Kim, P. (2021). How stress can influence brain adaptations to motherhood. Frontiers in Neuroendocrinology, 60, 100875.

Kim, P., Rigo, P., Mayes, L. C., Feldman, R., Leckman, J. F., & Swain, J. E. (2014). Neural plasticity in fathers of human infants. Social neuroscience, 9(5), 522-535.

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