Should You Pool Your Finances in a Romantic Relationship?

Should couples share their money or keep it separate? When it comes to money and relationships, there is no playbook, college degree, or even clear intuition about how to make decisions. Sometimes it can feel as complicated as trying to predict the stock market. Several generations ago, matters of money were simpler. There was often one breadwinner in the family (usually the man), earning enough money to support a partner and enough children to cast an episode of the Brady Bunch. Because of this setup, it made sense to pool finances.

Fast forward a few generations and the landscape looks completely different. Women are now educated and working at an equal rate as men in developed countries. Romantic partners today are more equitable, on average, in terms of their income than ever before. This trend of both partners bringing their own personal finances to the table has made the decision of whether to pool bank accounts (or not) in romantic relationships much less straightforward once things become serious.

This trend is especially relevant to millennials, who are the current generation in the spotlight when it comes to the lifestage of getting hitched, having children, and buying homes. Adding to the complexity, millennials are more financially fragile than previous generations. A survey found that 37% of millennials would not be able to come up with $2,000 in 30 days to cover an emergency expense such as a car repair or medical bill¹. With financial scarcity as the gasoline being dumped on the fire which asks couples whether or not they should combine their financial resources, the question could not be more complicated, timely, and important.

Here's What the Research Says

Social science researchers sought out an answer as to whether couples are happier and healthier (i.e., less likely to end the relationship) when they decide to use a joint bank account. The answer? Pooling finances is a good decision. One article, using data from over 38,000 people, found that couples who pool all their money are significantly more satisfied and less likely to break up. Combining finances makes couples more interdependent on each other, but the researchers found that increased interdependence is a positive thing for satisfaction and relationship longevity. Interestingly, the analysis finds that couples with more scarce financial resources (meaning couples with lower incomes or tighter budgets) benefitted the most from sharing finances².

A second article examines this question directly by recruiting recently engaged couples and assigning them to either pool their finances or to keep separate accounts, tracking these couples over two years into their marriages. That’s right: these researchers were actually able to flip a coin and randomly assign couples to share versus split their finances. Two years later, the researchers found that the couples in the shared finances group were happier and more likely to still be in a relationship compared to couples who kept their money separate³.

Take-Home Point

Pooling finances pays dividends when it comes to romantic relationships. By sharing a bank account, partners can experience three key benefits. The first benefit is improved feelings about how the couple can handle their money. The second benefit draws from the promotion of financial goal alignment, meaning couples are more likely to be on the same page about how their money should be used. The final benefit suggests that pooled finances cause partners to behave less transactionally and more socially toward each other.

With that being said, pooling finances is not a panacea for relationship success. If couples earn vastly different incomes, have very different spending habits/preferences, one partner has massive debt, or the relationship ends, a shared bank account could cause problems. However, this research finds that when it comes to sharing finances, the benefits clearly outweigh the costs.