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As challenging as coping with significant life change can be, as I’ve written previously, change is really the only constant during this one precious life we have. Indeed, life itself is an ongoing progression of growth and change that takes people from one phase or stage of development to another—from infancy to older age. While some ages and stages of development may be idealized, romanticized, or preferred relative to others, each and every one has its wonders and its challenges.
One of the most highly regarded models of human development is that of Erik Erikson, a psychoanalyst and developmental psychologist. First published in his 1950 book Childhood and Society—and expanded and refined in later books, notably Identity and the Life Cycle—Erikson’s framework emphasizes the impact of family and social interactions on emotional development across eight stages that traverse the entire lifespan, from infancy to old age.
According to Erikson, growth occurs as we negotiate the succession of challenges presented to us throughout our lifespan. Our sense of self continuously evolves with new experiences and information we acquire through our interactions with others. A coherent and healthy sense of self and feelings of self-efficacy come about through the meeting of developmental needs and experiences of competence, while an incomplete and inferior sense of self, along with feelings of inadequacy, result from unmet developmental needs and the absence of success.
Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development
Many people view each of Erikson’s eight stages of psychosocial development as distinct and separate, but, in reality, these stages don’t begin neatly and end cleanly; they often overlap and blend into one another. “Successful” completion of each stage results in the acquisition of critical psychological strengths and resources, which are carried into subsequent stages. Although problems in moving through a stage spill over into later stages and reduce the ability to negotiate them successfully, it is possible to complete the work of earlier stages at a later time.
These stages are universal in the sense that everyone goes through them in the same order. Although there are specific age ranges associated with each stage, these are approximate—how long people spend in each stage and how old they are when they move from one stage to the next can be different for each person. This is due in part to the often-considerable difference between a person’s chronological age and how old or mature they are emotionally. Moreover, every stage of development has its significant challenges—for both children and their parents. No stage is necessarily easier or more difficult, though, for some parents, certain stages may seem easier and be preferable to others.
Every stage presents children and parents with new and different challenges. The conventional interpretation is that each culminates in a decisive stage-specific positive or negative outcome—for example, trust versus mistrust in the first stage—that sets the tone for the next stage. I think the binary nature of this perspective is too limiting, however. Rather than the stage of infancy (birth to 18 months) leading to either basic trust or general mistrust of the world, I see them as existing on a continuum in which the result for most is somewhere in between. Between the extremes of black and white at each stage are myriad shades of gray.
The first three developmental stages (and most of the fourth) focus on the growth of children’s roots. The fifth and sixth stages (adolescence and young adulthood) emphasize building and stretching children’s wings.
Stage 1: Infancy (Ages Birth to 18 Months)—Trust vs. Mistrust
If an infant receives nurturing, consistent, predictable, and reliable care at this stage, he or she will develop a basic sense of trust that the world is a safe place and that others will “be there” for him or her. This sense of trust carries over to future relationships, enabling the person to feel secure even when difficulties arise.
Conversely, if the infant’s care is detached, inconsistent, unpredictable, and/or unreliable, the result will be a fundamental mistrust in the world as a safe place, and the sense that personal needs will likely go unmet. This spills over into future relationships and adversely affects a person’s belief that others will be there for him or her.
Stage 2: Toddlerhood (Ages 18 Months to 3 Years)—Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
In this stage, children develop beginning physical competencies, including learning to walk. They discover an increasing array of skills and abilities, such as manipulating toys and putting on clothes and shoes. Their burgeoning sense of self as distinct from their parents manifests through other assertions of independence: intentionally walking away from their parents, wanting to make choices as to what they eat and what clothing they wear, and—most notoriously—saying no.
Ideally, parents provide a supportive environment that encourages their children to explore their abilities and do as much as they safely can by and for themselves. Such an environment allows children the opportunity to fail and, in turn, learn from that experience. For example, whenever time and circumstances permit, attuned parents let their children attempt to dress themselves rather than automatically assuming they’re unable to do it on their own and stepping in to help. Ideally, parents find the patience to allow their children to try until they either succeed or ask for help. Autonomy and skill development need to be encouraged and supported while assistance is made available as needed.
When this happens, children begin to have a sense of personal control, physical competence, and independence. When it doesn’t, they doubt their skills and their ability to influence their environment, contributing to feelings of dependence and a sense of inadequacy.
Stage 3: Play Age (3 to 5 Years)—Initiative vs. Guilt
During this stage, children continue to develop independence and competence and increasingly exert influence on their environment. This occurs through ongoing interactions with other children at daycare or preschool and different forms of play that provide children with opportunities to try out their interpersonal skills. Children plan activities, make up games and stories, and participate in activities with peers—both organized and informal. Ideally, they learn how to lead as well as to follow. In this period, children also closely observe the adults around them and engage in extensive imitation of their behaviors.
When children have the experience of being included and accepted in these contexts, they develop a sense of comfort in taking initiative and feelings of basic confidence in their decision-making abilities. Conversely, if children’s efforts are squelched or discouraged through criticism or control, whether by adults or peers, the result is a sense of guilt and feelings of lower self-worth, of being less than others.
Stage 4: School Age (5 to 12 Years)—Industry vs. Inferiority
In this stage, also referred to as latency age, the world of children expands as they experience and must learn how to cope with new demands through the introduction of school and formal education. They become capable of absorbing a great deal of new knowledge and build new skills related to reading, writing, rudimentary math, and analytical thinking. Teachers assume an important role as they help children learn specific skills, and peer relationships gain greater importance and become a significant source of self-esteem.
If parents and teachers encourage and validate children’s learning and accomplishments during this stage, the children’s sense of competence and self-efficacy increases, and confidence in their ability to achieve goals expands. If parents, teachers, and other important adults discourage or appear unsupportive in any way, or if children experience little success in school, sports, or peer-related endeavors, feelings of inferiority and lingering doubt in their abilities arise.
My next post will focus on the stage of development that most people, especially parents, consider the most anxiety-evoking and stress-inducing—the dreaded stage of adolescence.
Copyright 2021 Dan Mager, MSW
Author of Some Assembly Required: A Balanced Approach to Recovery from Addiction and Chronic Pain and Roots and Wings: Mindful Parenting in Recovery.
