Why Narcissism Is Rising

Social psychologists report a steady increase in narcissism measures among college students from one decade to the next. Why are young people so obsessed with themselves compared to earlier generations?

Considered as a personality disorder that seriously disrupts everyday life, narcissism is rare. Yet, narcissistic tendencies are on the rise as more young people experience high self-esteem and are more concerned with what others think of them.

Narcissists tend to be fragile, so increasing narcissism helps explain why young people suffer from unprecedented levels of anxiety, depression, loneliness, and suicidal thinking. Young women are particularly vulnerable here because the internet exaggerates insecurity over their personal appearance.

Why are these trends in effect? Several hypotheses have been put forward. One reason for increasing self-esteem may be grade inflation in schools. Low grades reduce children's self-esteem so that educators began artificially raising grades to help children feel better about themselves as well as helping parents to believe that their youngsters were excelling in school.

Narcissism and Social Promotion in Education

When children receive all "A" grades, they see themselves as “straight-A” students and experience high self-esteem whether the grades are merited or not. When social psychologist Jean Twenge measured increasing scores on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory for college students, she reasoned that they had experienced a great deal of evaluation in the form of grades and suspected that this might have improved their self-esteem.

In addition to having a high, possibly inflated, self-esteem, narcissists are very concerned about how they are perceived by others and go to considerable lengths to blow their own trumpet. Modern technology caters to narcissists with cell phones and social media offering perfect instruments for self-promotion.

Narcissism and the Selfie and FOMO

Smartphones take better pictures than expensive cameras of the past resulting in many photographers losing their jobs. Many smartphone users record their experiences through the photographic medium of the selfie.

This has two intriguing implications. One is that the self takes center stage. A person photographing the Eiffel Tower looms larger in the frame than this celebrated structure. The other implication is that in the course of recording their travels to exotic places, the individual is, in effect, depicting a glamorous lifestyle that might inspire envy in those whose travel extends only to the local shopping mall.

Social media offers a perfect medium for sharing travel experiences and other envy-inspiring episodes in a person's life. Platforms such as Facebook and Instagram allow users to depict a glamorous lifestyle that may, or may not, correspond to their lived experiences. The purpose of this exercise may be to win at a socially competitive game in which the user defeats the competition if they paint a rosier lifestyle than everyone else (often starkly at odds with their internal wretchedness).

“Winners” in this competition make their followers feel less than them and inflict others with the emotion of FOMO (fear of missing out). From this perspective, social media encourages people to inflate their self-image and to expend considerable effort at alerting others to how wonderful their lifestyle is. In other words, social media encourages people to behave like individuals with narcissistic personality disorder.

Heavy cracks often appear in this facade. There are some histories of influencers who succeed in garnering millions of followers for their glamorous lifestyle but secretly languish with depression and suicidal thoughts. Influencers may inspire envy in online followers but that does not mean they are happy people. There is something quite empty, fake, and perilous about a social life that is conducted mainly online.

The Emptiness of Social Media and England's “Chatty Benches”

The internet brings many good things, including immediate access to an infinite volume of information. Knowing everything contributes to our self-esteem but does little for happiness. Adolescents are becoming much lonelier. Social media does not fill this gap. Indeed, adolescent loneliness increases with the amount of time that they spend online.

Narcissism Essential Reads

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Why Do Narcissistic Parents Gaslight Their Adult Children?

Online activity does not satisfy our need for real-world social contact. With this in mind, and mindful of the steep increases in youth suicides, some English public parks have introduced the “chatty bench.” When a person sits at the chatty bench, they are declaring themselves open to conversing with strangers.

Complex problems often have simple solutions. If you feel lonely, it is a good idea to talk to someone!

If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7, dial 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.