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Beyond Family Ties: Choosing Your Tribe

Chosen families offer relationships based on shared values and mutual support.

Key points

  • Not everyone's biological family environment is conducive to unconditional love and safety.
  • Understanding the dynamics of chosen and biological families is crucial in navigating the therapeutic process.
  • Chosen colleagues among clinicians as a resource can prevent burnout and lead to improved quality of care.
Source: RyanJLane/iStock
Source: RyanJLane/iStock

Traditionally, the family bond is defined by biological ties, and refers to the nuclear family (mother, father, and children). Recently, families are beginning to reflect the diverse circumstances, needs, values, and cultures of the people in them. Not only has the concept of family expanded to single-parent, extended, LGBTQ+, blended, adopted, and foster families, but the notion of a chosen family has gained prominence as well.

Biological families often share blood ties, family history, cultural, and social narratives. Our relationship with our families is the foundation of early socialization and plays a crucial role in shaping an individual's values and identity. However, not everyone's biological family environment is conducive to unconditional love and safety.

While biological families provide an assigned environment for socialization, chosen families involve a conscious decision to form meaningful connections. The freedom to curate a support network based on shared experiences, values, and interests that align with one's core values and needs is key for life quality.

Chosen family refers to a group of individuals with whom one shares a deep emotional bond, transcending the boundaries of blood relations. Unlike biological families, chosen families are formed through mutual love, shared experiences, common interests, and a conscious decision to build a meaningful connection. The potential benefits of chosen families lie in the freedom to create a supportive network tailored to one's needs and values.

For many, chosen families provide a sense of belonging and acceptance that might be lacking in their biological families. The freedom to select individuals who align with one's values fosters an environment where authenticity and individuality can thrive. This can be especially crucial for individuals who may feel marginalized within their biological families and communities, where chosen families cultivate a comparatively drama-free environment.

Professional Enrichment Through Chosen Friend Groups

As chosen families can become a vital support system for clients, understanding the dynamics between chosen and biological families is crucial in navigating the therapeutic process.

Professional relationships comprising colleagues who share similar professional goals and values contribute to personal and professional development. The exchange of ideas, shared experiences, and mutual support within chosen friend groups enhance the therapist's well-being, prevent burnout, and ultimately lead to improved quality of care for clients. Recognizing the significance of these relationships allows clinicians to create more inclusive and effective therapeutic environments.

The concept of chosen friend groups can significantly impact one's career, particularly in the field of therapy. A therapist's chosen friend group, comprised of colleagues who share similar professional goals and values, can be instrumental in ongoing growth.

Discussing challenging cases, sharing insights, and learning from each other's experiences contribute to a collaborative and enriching professional environment. This not only benefits the individual therapist but also enhances the quality of care provided to clients.

Diversity within a group of colleagues consulting with one another about patient care and other clinical practices can bring forward many additional benefits. While each clinician brings their own unique experiences, cultures, backgrounds, and perspectives, the varied insights generated can help improve the quality of care by fostering an increasingly holistic approach. Multicultural societies and client populations deserve such culturally sensitive treatment, and deliberate diversity in a chosen friend group promotes such empathic support.

A chosen friend group can additionally serve as a buffer against the challenges inherent in the therapeutic profession. The empathetic understanding and shared experiences within this group can promote self-care, and foster a sense of community among therapists. Lively conversations with a wide range of ideas can lead to brainstorming creative solutions that help the client, the clinician, as well as the group as a whole. By nurturing strong connections with colleagues, therapists can enhance their well-being, ultimately benefiting the clients they serve.

In conclusion, the concept of chosen family challenges the traditional notion of family, offering individuals the opportunity to build relationships based on shared values and mutual support. In both personal and professional settings, chosen families play a crucial role in cultivating growth, resilience, and a sense of belonging.

References

Balan, D (2023). Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook of Creative Writing and Recovery in Our New Normal. Routledge.

Brown, B. (2022). The Gifts of Imperfection: 10th Anniversary Edition. Hazelden Publishing.

Lerner, H. (2002). The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate. William Morrow Paperbacks.

Wallin, D. (2015). Attachment in Psychotherapy. The Guilford Press.

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