Are You in a Pattern of Overthinking?

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Most people take a few minutes throughout their day to reflect, explore, or examine things they need to do or they’ve recently completed on their “to do” list. These moments of reflection can help increase a sense of accomplishment, as well as tap into a person’s ability to self-reflect and gain clarity in where they are in their personal development and growth. However, some people may find themselves veering into a pattern of overthinking – where obsessive thoughts can become all-consuming and where a person may struggle in separating their value and worth from their intrusive thoughts.

Earlier research on rumination focused on obsessive negative thought patterns as symptoms of depression, which became cyclic; the more a person ruminated on depressive thoughts or situations, the more likely they were to experience depression. However, more recent models take into consideration that patterns of rumination often begin as symptoms of early lived traumatic experiences, specifically invalidating, abusive, neglectful conditions in childhood, or as symptoms of other disorders including: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety, eating disorders, and substance use disorders.

Some theorists associate chronic rumination as being associated with a “flight” trauma response, where obsessive thoughts surrounding perfectionism, catastrophizing, dichotomous (all or nothing) thinking, and self-defeating thoughts can keep a person stuck on a loop of overthinking. For example, if a person was traumatized, they can develop a pattern of catastrophizing things in their life by assuming the worst is going to happen, or by looking at things in “always” or “never” terms. While this type of overthinking may act as self-protective to keep people at arms-distance, in time patterns of rumination can increase risks to a person’s emotional, psychological, and physical health.

Walking Away From Overthinking

It’s important to consider the implications of overthinking on your life, and it is recommended to speak to a behavioral psychologist who specializes in providing goal-oriented tools to help you unpack core wounds that may be influencing a tendency to overthink. However, some things that you can explore on your own in helping to reduce a pattern of overthinking may include:

Identifying

Recognizing when you are more prone to overthinking is an important first step. Do you find yourself overthinking in certain situations or around certain people? Do you find that you tend to overthink more if you are having a bad day, or when you have a longer “to do” list? Begin unpacking patterns to help you identify when you are most prone to overthink.

Pausing

When you allow yourself to pause, you are also allowing yourself to gain insight and perspective into what patterns emerge with overthinking. Some things you may notice you have no control over, such as other people’s behavior or choices. However, you may also begin to unpack areas that you do have more control over, such as your personal choices in your life.

Reality Checking

Reality checking is based on asking yourself if your constant thoughts about a person or situation are grounded in reality, based on past experiences surrounding that person or environmental condition. For example, if you find that you tend to have all-or-nothing thoughts when meeting someone new, are these thoughts based on the new person, or could they be based on old core wounds or traumatic experiences?

Setting Limits

Once you gain awareness into what situations or people can trigger patterns of overthinking, you may then learn to set personal boundaries with how much time you allow them to influence your thoughts and feelings. Setting a boundary may include: being mindful of what your body feels (racing heart, tightened muscles, breathing more shallow) and allowing yourself to walk away from the situation in order to protect your sense of self-advocacy and peace. Or, a boundary may include limiting how much energy and time you give to certain relationships. For example, if you notice a relationship is more emotionally draining on you than it is emotionally fulfilling, recognize if it also leads to more patterns of rumination.

Focusing on Solutions

If you notice you are stuck in a pattern of overthinking, one suggestion is to redirect your energy to finding a solution, in order to help in minimizing obsessive thoughts. Ask a trusted friend, family member, or your partner to support you in healthy choices that offer up solutions in helping reduce rumination.