A Nuance in Regulating Your Emotional World

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In all likelihood, not only do you feel unpleasant emotions, but you try to regulate them in some way to adjust to what you’re experiencing at the moment. But do you know why you manage these emotions as you do or what’s influencing you?

A pair of researchers published a new study that looked more deeply at elements connected to how people manage anger. Toward this end, they considered two concepts: Usefulness and affordability.

Usefulness pertains to the idea that anger helps a person get what they want (i.e., gains), and affordability refers to the notion that someone can withstand the losses (i.e., disadvantages) that would come with anger. The researchers pointed out that past investigators have explored the role of advantages in how people respond to unpleasant emotions but not the disadvantages. This study addressed that gap.

Across two studies, the researchers explored how the advantages and disadvantages of anger were tied to whether people appeared inclined to turn up their anger or want to distance themselves from it. They found that awareness of practical upsides to anger and the interpersonal toll that could come from anger were each connected to how useful and affordable people saw their anger.

In particular, the researchers found that people seemed to weigh gains and losses evenly when it comes to the usefulness of anger. But when we’re talking about the affordability of anger, folks reflected relatively more on what they had to lose compared to what they had to gain (although both were relevant). In turn, ideas about the usefulness and affordability of anger were connected to whether people wanted to feel more or less anger.

In other words, if they thought anger served their aims and the social ramifications seemed manageable, they would be more apt to want to feel anger. On the other hand, if they didn’t think anger would get them what they wanted or they’d pay too high a social price, then they tended to want to feel less anger.

What does this look like in real life?

The researchers cited a study of women who shared their views on anger and how it affected their communication choices. They shared their perspective that voicing anger helped them to be heard (i.e., a belief about an advantage of anger). In contrast, they also highlighted possible problematic outcomes that led them to hold back from sharing this emotion.

As the researchers rightly pointed out, additional work needs to be done in this area to illuminate it more fully, such as looking beyond anger to other emotions or exploring people’s awareness of gains and losses around different emotions and how this affects their choices.

For now, if we want to understand anger better and how we respond to it, we might want to reflect on the upsides and downsides we attach to our feelings. Both are relevant.