Unlocking Shame

Parenting

5 Strategies to Minimize Shaming Your Children

Bret Lyon, Ph.D., SEP, and Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT on April 7, 2024

Parenting is the world's hardest job. Despite our best efforts, we will shame and have shamed our children. Can we transform the shaming into something useful?

Parenting is the world's hardest job. Despite our best efforts, we will shame and have shamed our children. Can we transform the shaming into something useful?

Shame

How to Fight Perfectionism and Learn From Your Mistakes

Bret Lyon, Ph.D., SEP, and Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT on March 26, 2024

Perfectionism is a defense against toxic shame that can end up causing even more shame. Toxic shame can be transformed into something that is actually helpful.

Perfectionism is a defense against toxic shame that can end up causing even more shame. Toxic shame can be transformed into something that is actually helpful.

Shame

The Surprising Benefits of Healthy Shame

Bret Lyon, Ph.D., SEP, and Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT on February 20, 2024

Shame is wired into our nervous system for a reason. Learn how to transform toxic shame into healthy shame and reap the surprising benefits.

Shame is wired into our nervous system for a reason. Learn how to transform toxic shame into healthy shame and reap the surprising benefits.

Embarrassment

Unbinding Shame From Other Emotions

Bret Lyon, Ph.D., SEP, and Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT on November 18, 2023

Shame binds with everything, including other emotions. When shame freezes us, we can’t access the action tendencies of other emotions like anger, grief, and fear.

Shame binds with everything, including other emotions. When shame freezes us, we can’t access the action tendencies of other emotions like anger, grief, and fear.

Trauma

Three Processes for Healing Shame and Trauma

Bret Lyon, Ph.D., SEP, and Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT on November 7, 2023

Shame and trauma create a state of freeze that disrupts our nervous system. Through resourcing, attunement, and pendulation, we can melt the freeze and get on with our lives.

Shame and trauma create a state of freeze that disrupts our nervous system. Through resourcing, attunement, and pendulation, we can melt the freeze and get on with our lives.

Embarrassment

Three Steps to Healing Shame (and Trauma)

Bret Lyon, Ph.D., SEP, and Sheila Rubin, MA, LMFT on November 1, 2023

Shame binds with everything, including trauma. But, if it is recognized and explored, it can be gently unbound and healed. Here are three ways to begin the healing process.

Shame binds with everything, including trauma. But, if it is recognized and explored, it can be gently unbound and healed. Here are three ways to begin the healing process.