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Key points
- Rewriting a story can involve coming up with other explanations for the causes or consequences of something.
- Approaching something you already need to do in a highly creative manner can boost one's mood.
- It can be easier to start with a behavioral strategy than with a thinking shift.
We've all heard the standard advice for lifting ourselves out of a mood funk, like going for a walk or practicing gratitude. Here are some specific and novel ideas for when the ones you've heard over and over seem trite or unappealing.
1. Do an activity you typically enjoy but haven't done in the past six months. We all sometimes discover activities we enjoy but then inexplicably stop doing them. Rediscover a forgotten pleasure. This could be, for example, getting takeout from a restaurant you like, visiting a park you used to like to walk around, taking a yoga class, tending a plant you've previously grown, doing a hobby you've previously engaged in, having a "parents' night out" you used to do, visiting a library with an art gallery you used to pop into, going to a venue you used to enjoy going to for after-work music on a Friday night, or using the steam room at your gym.
2. Rewrite a story. We all have stories that get us down. For instance, "I should've done X better," or "X was my fault," or "I let someone down by...."
Often, we have replayed the story so many times we begin to see the story as fact. Yet it's never too late to re-write a story about your own or someone else's behavior, or something that happened.
- Rewriting a story often involves coming up with other explanations for the causes or consequences of something that has happened.
- It can sometimes involve considering situational factors rather than dispositional factors.
- You can experiment with different perspectives; try a very harsh perspective, a neutral perspective, and a very generous perspective.
What gets in the way of people rewriting their stories is an inability to see a story for what it is—a story—not an absolute truth. When we have ruminated about a story, the story will tend to become more sticky.
3. Take a highly creative approach to a task. Expressing your creativity can feel good, but few of us want to add to our schedule. Instead, you can approach something you already need to do in a highly creative manner.
For example, my homeschooler is currently learning about the 50 states. A common way to do this is a postcard swap. A more creative way might be to ask people which state they grew up in, engage in a conversation about that, and try to find individuals who grew up in each of the states.
4. Solve a problem in a much simpler way. Having hanging items on your to-do list can feel weighty. It can drag down your mood and energy. A way to instantly boost your mood is to identify a much, much simpler way to solve a problem that's populating your to-do list. This both takes the item off your list and gives you a sense that problems in general are not so weighty.
For example:
- Utilize an item you already own to solve a problem rather than searching for a new resource.
- Take an item off your to-do list rather than doing it.
- Outsource a task to someone who won't do it to your standards but will do it.
- Don't reinvent the wheel (e.g., take the same dish to the next potluck as you made for the last one, adapt an existing system rather than create a new one, or, generally, instead of doing new work, just repurpose something you did previously).
- Give something away (or throw it away) rather than cleaning or storing it.
- Go with your best current idea or decision rather than trying to think of a better one.
5. Throw out a "must" thought. We all have "must" thoughts that add to our mental load. For example, "I must clean the playroom before I invite anyone over," or "I must reply to that person I lost touch with."
Throwing out a "must" thought can be a huge mental relief. You can even do this physically. Write the thought on a piece of paper and put it out with your trash! Or type out the thought and strike through it. Then write an alternative sentence. Or do the same, but handwrite the "must" thought on a large piece of paper, strike it out, and then take a photo of yourself holding the paper.
How to Implement This Advice
To enable yourself to change your thinking, it can be easiest to start with a behavioral strategy, like tip #1 or tip #4. Behavioral strategies can give us a quick energy lift that helps make our thinking more flexible. Trying to start with a thinking shift is sometimes too hard, especially if feeling low has reduced your activity level (e.g., you're sitting on your couch a lot, or your productivity is way down.)
On the other hand, behavioral strategies can feel a bit empty if they're not followed up by deeper thinking changes. Their combination can be the most satisfying and enduring. Having both in your repertoire also gives you the flexibility to use the type of strategy you can manage at the time.
When you need to lift your mood, try these simple strategies—you might find that they're a little more advanced than some of the standard advice.
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